February 17, 2009

Five for Friday,* volume 3

Time to get this party started again. I just got back from the Apple, and being on the road temporarily derailed my plan to give you another all-new edition of Five for Friday. (Past entries here and here.)

That actually worked out alright, because I now have five hard-won random thoughts for you.

1. If you're traveling and you forget the handle of your Gillette Fusion razor, but remember to bring your cartridges, all is not lost. It turns out that it is possible to shave by just holding the five-blade cartridge between your thumb and index finger and, basically, hoping for the best. However, your face may not appreciate it very much.

2. There were three things I wanted to eat while in New York: jelly grahams, actual New York pizza (because I've found only one place in L.A. that makes a reasonable facsimile thereof), and a hot dog from a street cart. Sadly, I went a perfect 0 for 3. I had opportunity and I had motive, so it's my fault alone that I didn't make the effort to accomplish my culinary mission. But I'll still blame it on my trainer who has severely dampened my enthusiasm for eating food that... what's the phrase I'm looking for? oh yes... tastes good.

There is an upside, however. When I found the jelly graham link that I used for the preceding paragraph, I learned that Russ & Daughters, purveyors of the only jelly graham you need to know, now sells these life-changing treats online. (I'm pretty sure that last time I checked, everything else on their site was available for delivery except for jelly grahams.) So if I ever decide it's worth 25 bucks (including delivery charge) to eat a dozen graham crackers covered in raspberry preserve, all enrobed in creamy dark chocolate,** I'm all set.

3. Sure, whatever you say, Bill.

4. I'm sure glad I'm not an employee of the state of California. That could really suck. Oh, wait a minute....

5. One might think that if you bore a marked resemblance to the most hated man in New York, you would avoid calling attention to that fact. One might think that - if one had not met my grandfather.

As we approached the front door of a Long Island restaurant Saturday, he turned to the couple walking next to him and asked: "Excuse me, do I look like anyone you've seen in the papers lately?"

* Yes, I realize it's not Friday, but Five for Tuesday just doesn't have the same ring to it.
** I might very well decide that it's worth it, and soon.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. i hear the Apple sells things like razors, no? and, as a matter of fact, i'm pretty sure that your residence in the Apple is approximately 1 block from a fancy drug store, no?!
2. i can't believe AK & UR didn't get you jelly grahams. they must not love you anymore. they make brownies for me (well, not really for me - more for my son, but i eat them all the same) EVERY TIME i go to the Apple.
3. it's all bush's fault. go bill!
4. you're not in the category of govt employees that will be eliminated, i'm sure. your skills are WAY TOO valuable.
5. grandpa CRACKS ME UP. were you laughing?

Your escalator operator said...

1. Oh, I forgot about that.
2. Not to worry: They did get us superfancy chocolates from a superfancy chocolate place and left them on our pillows on Valentine's Day. Which was pretty spectacular.
4. Uh, yeah.
5. Yes, I was.

Anonymous said...

1. sure you did. didn't you run into michelle pfeiffer there one time? don't think you'd forget that.

DGB said...

Okay...after my recent experience with street dogs, I'm sorry you didn't get to have one. Stupid trainers making you do stupid healthy things.

And out of curiosity, where is this NY pizza in LA?

Your escalator operator said...

DGB - Vinny's Pizza on Lincoln Ave. in Playa Del Rey is as close to NYC pizza as I've found so far. I can't figure out what's so hard about replicating good pizza!