A mere seven years after instituting a program that would eventually issue 180,000 traffic tickets to motorists who drove through red lights - outrageously expensive tickets that, in a hilarious little twist, it now turns out, weren't the kind of traffic tickets that you actually have to pay - the Los Angeles City Council voted unanimously today to discontinue the initiative.
After only seven years and 180,000 tickets. That L.A. City Council is one agile little decision-making legislative body, ain't it?
Here's the Los Angeles Times story about today's staggering development, complete with lots of photos of - well, what else? - red traffic lights.
Here's my previous blog post with more background. (And a photo of Jason Bateman, if you're into that kind of thing.)
Showing posts with label Pol star. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pol star. Show all posts
July 26, 2011
By the people, for the people and screw the people
Whichever side of the political spectrum you're on, it's easy to get riled up about the government these days.
On the national scene, Democrats, Republicans and Tea Baggers all all hate Washington because - respectively - Congressional leadership, the president and space-aliens-from-god-knows-where are out to run our country into the ground. In case you haven't seen it yet, a #F---YouWashington hashtag has been lighting up Twitter for the past few weeks, prompted mostly by this debt ceiling fiasco, which seems mostly to be an excuse for the ultra-tan John Boehner to get some extra broadcast time for his apparently limitless collection of unabashedly green neckwear.
Here in California, the state is something like $600 trillion in debt (I might be exaggerating a bit), the public education system is one of the worst in the nation and ... I imagine there are lots of other nasty problems, too, but the weather is so nice, who can complain?
The point is: We're all used to bitching and moaning about getting taxed to hell and screwed over by the jerks in federal and state government. That's old news. Somehow it seems worse when you learn that you've been getting royally hosed by your local government. People who are your neighbors. But another wonderful - and very creative - example of that came to light today in Los Angeles.
The city is deciding whether to discontinue its controversial red-light traffic camera program - where motorists get their photos taken by automatic cameras when they run red lights, and then have to pay a whopping fine, on the order of $480. The main issue being that although they generate a lot of tickets, they're not actually an effective traffic safety mechanism, which should have been the point.
Now, it turns out, those "fines" for running red lights weren't actually fines so much as they were, um, suggested donations. Today, in an L.A. Times blog post, the esteemed* city councilman Bill Rosendahl explains:
Yep. Turns out that the tickets were actually part of a "voluntary payment program." As in optional. As in, keep that horrible black-and-white traffic-camera photo, keep your money and treat yourself to a weekend getaway instead.
Which I'm guessing wasn't exactly made clear on the violation notices. And, which I'm guessing is going to be news to all of those people who assumed that the traffic tickets they got in the mail from the City of Los Angeles and that huge Amount Due were - how do I put this? - real.
Wonder what other Los Angeles fines and fees I've been paying that are actually voluntary payment programs. Only one way to find out....
* "Esteemed" in the same sense that the tickets seemed "voluntary."
On the national scene, Democrats, Republicans and Tea Baggers all all hate Washington because - respectively - Congressional leadership, the president and space-aliens-from-god-knows-where are out to run our country into the ground. In case you haven't seen it yet, a #F---YouWashington hashtag has been lighting up Twitter for the past few weeks, prompted mostly by this debt ceiling fiasco, which seems mostly to be an excuse for the ultra-tan John Boehner to get some extra broadcast time for his apparently limitless collection of unabashedly green neckwear.
Here in California, the state is something like $600 trillion in debt (I might be exaggerating a bit), the public education system is one of the worst in the nation and ... I imagine there are lots of other nasty problems, too, but the weather is so nice, who can complain?
The point is: We're all used to bitching and moaning about getting taxed to hell and screwed over by the jerks in federal and state government. That's old news. Somehow it seems worse when you learn that you've been getting royally hosed by your local government. People who are your neighbors. But another wonderful - and very creative - example of that came to light today in Los Angeles.
The city is deciding whether to discontinue its controversial red-light traffic camera program - where motorists get their photos taken by automatic cameras when they run red lights, and then have to pay a whopping fine, on the order of $480. The main issue being that although they generate a lot of tickets, they're not actually an effective traffic safety mechanism, which should have been the point.
Now, it turns out, those "fines" for running red lights weren't actually fines so much as they were, um, suggested donations. Today, in an L.A. Times blog post, the esteemed* city councilman Bill Rosendahl explains:
"The consequence is somebody calling you from one of these collection agencies and saying 'pay up.' And that's it. There's no real penalty in terms of your driver's license or any other consequences if you don't pay."
Yep. Turns out that the tickets were actually part of a "voluntary payment program." As in optional. As in, keep that horrible black-and-white traffic-camera photo, keep your money and treat yourself to a weekend getaway instead.
 |
| Caught on camera. |
Wonder what other Los Angeles fines and fees I've been paying that are actually voluntary payment programs. Only one way to find out....
* "Esteemed" in the same sense that the tickets seemed "voluntary."
June 28, 2011
In which Aimee Mann doesn't hate my suggestion
I read today on Facebook - rapidly, and sadly, becoming my go-to source for Important News of the World - that Tom Petty has a bone to pick with Michele Bachmann.
It seems that yesterday in Iowa, as Bachmann closed the kickoff speech for her soon-to-be-failed presidential bid, her staff played Petty's 1977 song "American Girl." Makes sense, what with her nationality and gender being properly reflected right there in the title. Of course, this didn't go over too well with Mr. Petty, whose political tastes run a little more toward the mentally capable. (Here's the L.A. Times recap of the incident.)
So I wondered: What would be a better - and somewhat more recent - pop song that would just as accurately summarize Ms. Bachmann's campaign and carry an equal measure of musical credibility? Two and a half seconds later, I had it.
Or, actually, Aimee Mann had it, in a song from her 1995 album, I'm With Stupid:
Thanks to lightdarkens in the UK for letting me link to your YouTube video.
I thought this was a pretty good idea. So I thought I'd tweet the idea and see if Ms. Mann - of whom I've long been a fan - would see it.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, my BlackBerry buzzed. The highlight of my week, for sure.
Aimee Mann had responded:
(Thanks, Aimee!)
Now, how do I get the Bachmann campaign on board?
It seems that yesterday in Iowa, as Bachmann closed the kickoff speech for her soon-to-be-failed presidential bid, her staff played Petty's 1977 song "American Girl." Makes sense, what with her nationality and gender being properly reflected right there in the title. Of course, this didn't go over too well with Mr. Petty, whose political tastes run a little more toward the mentally capable. (Here's the L.A. Times recap of the incident.)
So I wondered: What would be a better - and somewhat more recent - pop song that would just as accurately summarize Ms. Bachmann's campaign and carry an equal measure of musical credibility? Two and a half seconds later, I had it.
Or, actually, Aimee Mann had it, in a song from her 1995 album, I'm With Stupid:
Thanks to lightdarkens in the UK for letting me link to your YouTube video.
I thought this was a pretty good idea. So I thought I'd tweet the idea and see if Ms. Mann - of whom I've long been a fan - would see it.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, my BlackBerry buzzed. The highlight of my week, for sure.
Aimee Mann had responded:
(Thanks, Aimee!)
Now, how do I get the Bachmann campaign on board?
April 22, 2010
Missed metaphors
Rod Blagojevich kicks ass at several things - selling Senate seats to the highest bidder, styling his hair, assessing and then reassessing his place on the racial continuum and getting booted off of Donald Trump TV shows among them.
But one thing at which he does not kick ass is understanding the meaning of common metaphors. Consider, for example, his explanation in this CNN.com piece of what he thinks will prove to be "the smoking gun" in his corruption trial:
During his news conference Tuesday, Blagojevich repeated that he was innocent and that the tapes of his conversations would prove it. "It is because there is a smoking gun in those tapes, and the smoking gun is that the government is covering up the big lie Mr. Fitzgerald gave to the world when he had me arrested," Blagojevich said.
It's clear that while a former governor awaits his fate, logical rhetoric is also on trial.
But one thing at which he does not kick ass is understanding the meaning of common metaphors. Consider, for example, his explanation in this CNN.com piece of what he thinks will prove to be "the smoking gun" in his corruption trial:
During his news conference Tuesday, Blagojevich repeated that he was innocent and that the tapes of his conversations would prove it. "It is because there is a smoking gun in those tapes, and the smoking gun is that the government is covering up the big lie Mr. Fitzgerald gave to the world when he had me arrested," Blagojevich said.
It's clear that while a former governor awaits his fate, logical rhetoric is also on trial.
March 2, 2010
Job stress
(No, this isn't about me.)
I'm just concerned that the world of international diplomacy is taking its toll on Secretary Clinton. She looks so much older than she did when she was appointed. For comparison, here's her official portrait from early 2009:
And here's a headline and photo from the New York Times website, apparently showing her after her arrival in Chile today:
Also, for someone offering lots of financial aid for disaster relief, she doesn't look especially pleased to be making a difference.
February 10, 2010
Easy answer
Joanne Herring: Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?
Charlie Wilson: Well, tradition mostly.
R.I.P., Congressman Charlie Wilson (1933-2010).
Charlie Wilson: Well, tradition mostly.
- portrayed by Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks
Charlie Wilson's War, 2007
R.I.P., Congressman Charlie Wilson (1933-2010).
December 29, 2009
End of the aughts, Part 2
If you were here yesterday, you were wowed, amazed and possibly blown away by Part 1 of my end-of-the-decade wrap-up chat with Daddy Geek Boy. And you're dying to catch the rest of the conversation in Part 2.
Well, this is your lucky day. Because Part 2 - which, as I mentioned, is way more interesting - is now up on Daddy Geek Boy. So check it out. And then take care of one of your 2010 new year's resolutions by signing up on his site to become a DGB follower. (What? That wasn't one of your resolutions? It should be.)
If you weren't here yesterday, you should should stop what you're doing right now and go read Part 1 immediately. Seriously. Failing to do so would be like watching Step Up 2: The Streets without first seeing Step Up.* That is, you really might not understand the sequel.
Well, this is your lucky day. Because Part 2 - which, as I mentioned, is way more interesting - is now up on Daddy Geek Boy. So check it out. And then take care of one of your 2010 new year's resolutions by signing up on his site to become a DGB follower. (What? That wasn't one of your resolutions? It should be.)
If you weren't here yesterday, you should should stop what you're doing right now and go read Part 1 immediately. Seriously. Failing to do so would be like watching Step Up 2: The Streets without first seeing Step Up.* That is, you really might not understand the sequel.
December 28, 2009
End of the aughts: A deep conversation with my (other) favorite blogger
You might have heard that we're rapidly approaching the end of a decade.
To mark this momentous occasion, I decided to... um... blog about it. Which sounds very predictable, but you're in luck, because I decided to blog about it in the form of a witty, snappy and enlightening conversation with Daddy Geek Boy.
We talked music, movies, politics and more. We laughed, we cried. And we did it all on instant messenger, which made it incredibly easy to transpose. I'm nothing if not brutally efficient.
Part 1 follows; you can read the equally amazing conclusion on his site on Tuesday.
DGB: At the end of every year, there are all of these recaps. And since we're at the end of a decade, the pressure to put a fine point on it all is huge. But I've been thinking about what we didn't have 10 years ago.
SFTC: Well, right now, I'm watching the Ravens game on TV, and checking Twitter and email in between our instant messages.
DGB: That's something right there - how much multitasking did you do 10 years ago?
SFTC: A little, I guess, but it's nothing like now when I'm checking Twitter, blogs, email, Facebook and whatever else at work and at home. How about you?
DGB: Yeah, the way I communicate with people is completely different. How are the Ravens doing?
SFTC: Ravens were down 17-0, are still trailing, but now back in the game at 17-14. You mostly don't follow sports, right?
DGB: I don't. Nothing against sports. I really like them. But I feel I don't have the time to really devote to them. I guess I could call myself a Redskins fan, if I kept up with football. But from what I gather, this season it wouldn't really matter.
SFTC: You're right about the Skins. I have to say it's hard for me to imagine doing everything I do now, and then adding two children to the mix, and having time to do anything else - like watching sports - so working parents have my immense admiration.
DGB: If it's a choice of sports over movies, I'm going to have to pick movies. But since we're talking about sports: What events capture the '00s in sports for you?
SFTC: You know, none of my favorite teams won championships, so the most memorable sports events for me were the ones I got to see up close and in person thanks to my job. (Not the same job I have now.) I went as a reporter to the NBA All-Star Game in Houston and the MLB All-Star Game in Detroit. And although I'm not a big NASCAR fan, the coolest experience of all was getting a ride in a stock car that was driven by Rusty Wallace... on the day before the Daytona 500 at the Daytona Speedway. It was unreal.
DGB: OK, you rode in a stock car? Sports fan or not, that's really cool right there. For a lot of my friends, the Red Sox winning the World Series will go down as their favorite moment this decade.
SFTC: Yeah, the Sox win was amazing - I was hoping the Cubs could follow suit in the next few years, but they might never win.
One of the things that I've delved into on SFTC is the too-good-to-be-true political scandals. I know you don't really get into those on DGB, but did you have any, um, favorites of the 2000s?
DGB: The whole Larry Craig thing was the first to jump in my head. For the sheer ridiculousness of it, mixed with a dash of pathetic. How about you?
SFTC: Maybe because I spent so much of my life in Chicago, I got a special thrill out of the Blagojevich incident. Just his arrogance, his complete disregard for the law, the audaciousness of it. I got to see a large part of his rise to prominence and it was amazing how swiftly he just fell apart.
DGB: This has been the decade where I've started to pay attention to politics. But every time I get sucked in, I get turned off just as quickly. It's sad to admit this, but it feeds my pessimistic side.
SFTC: Well, there was a long stretch last year where it was interesting without being terrible. It was nice to be able to follow it and be interested for reasons that weren't negative.
DGB: True. I was never so involved as I was during the election. But I think the same thing - it seems like a never-ending story of greed and corruption and ego and inefficiency, and it's hard to stay tuned in. It's all so contentious and nasty. Though I feel like that's something that's developed over the past handful of years. I feel like as a nation after 9/11 we were told that it wasn't okay to have dissenting opinions.
SFTC: Speaking of which, where were you when you first heard about the 9/11 attacks?
DGB: I was in the gym. Which is crazy to think about now because I've become such a sloth. But I was working out with a trainer, and we watched it go down on the monitors in the gym. We finished the workout, because frankly we didn't know what else to do. I came home and spent the rest of the day crying on the couch with the woman who would become WW™.
SFTC: That seems practical. (The gym part.)
DGB: How about you?
SFTC: A woman who lived in my building in Chicago said something about it to me while I was on the elevator that morning. But she brought it up by asking just, "Did you hear?" I assumed she was talking about Michael Jordan's return to the NBA from his second retirement, because that had been the big news on SportsCenter the night before - that he was about to come back. So I told her that I'd heard about Jordan, and she said, "No, a plane flew into the World Trade Center." Of course at that time, we obviously assumed it was just a bad accident. The Sears Tower is visible from the building where I lived in Chicago, and as I was walking to work that morning, I kept looking up at the Sears Tower and thinking what it would look like for a jet to fly into the top of that building. Then, spent most of the day at work just watching it on TV.
DGB: You know, I flew four days after the attack?
SFTC: You did!?! Why? Where? What did FWW™ think?
DGB: I was living in L.A. and my best friend was getting married that weekend in Philly. There was no way I couldn't be there. I got lucky and when they reopened the airports, I got a seat on a flight. FWW™ was really nervous about it. She said that's what made her realize she loved me. Oddly, I wasn't nervous.
SFTC: Wow. I'm impressed. Were you drinking heavily?
DGB: The odds of something happening again so soon were astronomical. And it really did bring people together. Everybody huddled together in the airport bar and just talked to each other. I was so focused on being there for my friend. That wedding, by the way, was one of the best I've ever been to. It was such a catharsis.
Don't forget: Part 2 - which I promise you'll find way more interesting - is on Daddy Geek Boy tomorrow! We talk Wilco and Harry Potter and reveal how DGB scored a wife-approved absence on Valentine's Day. Don't miss it.
To mark this momentous occasion, I decided to... um... blog about it. Which sounds very predictable, but you're in luck, because I decided to blog about it in the form of a witty, snappy and enlightening conversation with Daddy Geek Boy.
We talked music, movies, politics and more. We laughed, we cried. And we did it all on instant messenger, which made it incredibly easy to transpose. I'm nothing if not brutally efficient.
Part 1 follows; you can read the equally amazing conclusion on his site on Tuesday.
DGB: At the end of every year, there are all of these recaps. And since we're at the end of a decade, the pressure to put a fine point on it all is huge. But I've been thinking about what we didn't have 10 years ago.
SFTC: Well, right now, I'm watching the Ravens game on TV, and checking Twitter and email in between our instant messages.
DGB: That's something right there - how much multitasking did you do 10 years ago?
SFTC: A little, I guess, but it's nothing like now when I'm checking Twitter, blogs, email, Facebook and whatever else at work and at home. How about you?
DGB: Yeah, the way I communicate with people is completely different. How are the Ravens doing?
SFTC: Ravens were down 17-0, are still trailing, but now back in the game at 17-14. You mostly don't follow sports, right?
DGB: I don't. Nothing against sports. I really like them. But I feel I don't have the time to really devote to them. I guess I could call myself a Redskins fan, if I kept up with football. But from what I gather, this season it wouldn't really matter.
SFTC: You're right about the Skins. I have to say it's hard for me to imagine doing everything I do now, and then adding two children to the mix, and having time to do anything else - like watching sports - so working parents have my immense admiration.
DGB: If it's a choice of sports over movies, I'm going to have to pick movies. But since we're talking about sports: What events capture the '00s in sports for you?
SFTC: You know, none of my favorite teams won championships, so the most memorable sports events for me were the ones I got to see up close and in person thanks to my job. (Not the same job I have now.) I went as a reporter to the NBA All-Star Game in Houston and the MLB All-Star Game in Detroit. And although I'm not a big NASCAR fan, the coolest experience of all was getting a ride in a stock car that was driven by Rusty Wallace... on the day before the Daytona 500 at the Daytona Speedway. It was unreal.
DGB: OK, you rode in a stock car? Sports fan or not, that's really cool right there. For a lot of my friends, the Red Sox winning the World Series will go down as their favorite moment this decade.
SFTC: Yeah, the Sox win was amazing - I was hoping the Cubs could follow suit in the next few years, but they might never win.
One of the things that I've delved into on SFTC is the too-good-to-be-true political scandals. I know you don't really get into those on DGB, but did you have any, um, favorites of the 2000s?
DGB: The whole Larry Craig thing was the first to jump in my head. For the sheer ridiculousness of it, mixed with a dash of pathetic. How about you?
SFTC: Maybe because I spent so much of my life in Chicago, I got a special thrill out of the Blagojevich incident. Just his arrogance, his complete disregard for the law, the audaciousness of it. I got to see a large part of his rise to prominence and it was amazing how swiftly he just fell apart.
DGB: This has been the decade where I've started to pay attention to politics. But every time I get sucked in, I get turned off just as quickly. It's sad to admit this, but it feeds my pessimistic side.
SFTC: Well, there was a long stretch last year where it was interesting without being terrible. It was nice to be able to follow it and be interested for reasons that weren't negative.
DGB: True. I was never so involved as I was during the election. But I think the same thing - it seems like a never-ending story of greed and corruption and ego and inefficiency, and it's hard to stay tuned in. It's all so contentious and nasty. Though I feel like that's something that's developed over the past handful of years. I feel like as a nation after 9/11 we were told that it wasn't okay to have dissenting opinions.
SFTC: Speaking of which, where were you when you first heard about the 9/11 attacks?
DGB: I was in the gym. Which is crazy to think about now because I've become such a sloth. But I was working out with a trainer, and we watched it go down on the monitors in the gym. We finished the workout, because frankly we didn't know what else to do. I came home and spent the rest of the day crying on the couch with the woman who would become WW™.
SFTC: That seems practical. (The gym part.)
DGB: How about you?
SFTC: A woman who lived in my building in Chicago said something about it to me while I was on the elevator that morning. But she brought it up by asking just, "Did you hear?" I assumed she was talking about Michael Jordan's return to the NBA from his second retirement, because that had been the big news on SportsCenter the night before - that he was about to come back. So I told her that I'd heard about Jordan, and she said, "No, a plane flew into the World Trade Center." Of course at that time, we obviously assumed it was just a bad accident. The Sears Tower is visible from the building where I lived in Chicago, and as I was walking to work that morning, I kept looking up at the Sears Tower and thinking what it would look like for a jet to fly into the top of that building. Then, spent most of the day at work just watching it on TV.
DGB: You know, I flew four days after the attack?
SFTC: You did!?! Why? Where? What did FWW™ think?
DGB: I was living in L.A. and my best friend was getting married that weekend in Philly. There was no way I couldn't be there. I got lucky and when they reopened the airports, I got a seat on a flight. FWW™ was really nervous about it. She said that's what made her realize she loved me. Oddly, I wasn't nervous.
SFTC: Wow. I'm impressed. Were you drinking heavily?
DGB: The odds of something happening again so soon were astronomical. And it really did bring people together. Everybody huddled together in the airport bar and just talked to each other. I was so focused on being there for my friend. That wedding, by the way, was one of the best I've ever been to. It was such a catharsis.
Don't forget: Part 2 - which I promise you'll find way more interesting - is on Daddy Geek Boy tomorrow! We talk Wilco and Harry Potter and reveal how DGB scored a wife-approved absence on Valentine's Day. Don't miss it.
August 10, 2009
My kind of town
The nice thing about Chicago is that if you're invited to a retirement party for an elected official, there's little chance you'll find yourself wondering, "Should I get a retirement present?" Much less, "What would be an appropriate gift for the occasion?"
Because the answers always will be: "Duh." And: "Cash."
If you need a concise parable to remind you of this advice, I just happen to have one, about the ethically awesome Alderman William J.P. Banks. Kind of cool that his last name is Banks, isn't it?*
Hard to imagine that this is the same city that gave Governor Blagojevich his start in politics.
* Also, I think J.P. probably stands for "Just Pay."
Because the answers always will be: "Duh." And: "Cash."
If you need a concise parable to remind you of this advice, I just happen to have one, about the ethically awesome Alderman William J.P. Banks. Kind of cool that his last name is Banks, isn't it?*
Hard to imagine that this is the same city that gave Governor Blagojevich his start in politics.
* Also, I think J.P. probably stands for "Just Pay."
July 8, 2009
Oooey gooey diplomacy
Am I seeing things, or did Vlad Putin - Vlad and I are on a first-syllable basis - serve Toaster Strudels when President Obama arrived for breakfast yesterday?
Visual evidence from the New York Times:
Seriously, I think that look on Putin's face pretty much says: You take the strawberry strudel, Mr. Obama, and I'll go nuclear.
Oh, and if you're one of those folks who actually reads the news instead of just scanning the pretty photos, here's the story about their meeting.
One passage about U.S.-Russia diplomacy that I found interesting, if not very surprising:
Visual evidence from the New York Times:
Seriously, I think that look on Putin's face pretty much says: You take the strawberry strudel, Mr. Obama, and I'll go nuclear.
Oh, and if you're one of those folks who actually reads the news instead of just scanning the pretty photos, here's the story about their meeting.
One passage about U.S.-Russia diplomacy that I found interesting, if not very surprising:
Mr. Obama and Mr. Medvedev announced an agreement to open a joint early-warning center to share data on missile launchings. But Presidents Bill Clinton and Boris N. Yeltsin announced the same agreement in 1998. Mr. Clinton then announced it again with President Vladimir V. Putin in 2000. Mr. Putin and President George W. Bush recommitted to it as recently as 2007. And none of them ever actually built the center.
Well, good to know we're moving in the right direction on that front.
June 24, 2009
And one to go
In my first real job, one of my responsibilities was to call staff at sports teams all over the country to find out what their latest marketing plans were. If that doesn't sound like fun to you, don't worry: There were a few perks.
One of those perks was that after I had worked at that company for a year, the owner installed a heater in the bathroom, a long overdue upgrade because (1) our office bathroom was one metal door away from being outside, and (2) our office bathroom was located in Chicago, which, as you might have heard, gets a little chilly for five or six months out of the year.
Another perk was that some of the calls I made were to area code 803. That was especially nice whenever the recipient of my call was a woman, because I tended to think that South Carolina women have a great accent - somehow, noticeably better than that of their counterparts in both North Carolina and Georgia.
Apparently, however, South Carolina's governor doesn't find that accent quite as mellifluous as I used to, because Mark Sanford went south - way south - to hook up with a woman not named Mrs. Sanford.
As you've probably read by now, not only did the ex-rising-star Republican publicly admit today to having an affair - "extra-marital," the New York Times article helpfully points out - but he flew to Argentina to do it. That's first class.
Then he admitted to being AWOL with her in Argentina the last week, while his staff told people he was "hiking on the Appalachian Trail." Maybe they just meant that as a euphemism. Well, what the affair lacked in convenience, it did make up for in creativity, I guess.
I find this news especially exciting, because of that old rule of thumb about politicians' career-ending extra-marital affair admissions coming in threes. (That might not be the exact rule of thumb, but it's close.) Arizona's John Ensign - who must be breathing a sigh of extra-marital relief right now - was last week, now Sanford, and I'm thinking we'll have ourselves another before too long. When we do - as Sanford himself might put it - y'all come back now, hear?
June 16, 2009
Arizona senators: Manna from blog heaven
Amid all the talk of furloughs in my adopted home state - and, actually, not just talk, but actual furloughs - I have apparently been on something of a self-imposed blog furlough lately. Sorry it's been so slow. I just haven't come across much lately that struck me as blog-worthy, until just a moment ago when I checked the New York Times site.
The news that brought my blog-jones back to life was this wonderful item about Arizona senator John Ensign. Frankly, it seems like it's about time we get a story like this. I've been feeling a real post-Spitzer, post-Blago political crash-n-burn lull the last few months. So I think I speak for all Americans when I say: We wanted this story. We needed this story.
My first thought was: Really? It's just that it seems soooo cliche now for Republican senators to have affairs with their staff. Good lord. Get out a little bit. Be creative. Meet a waitress at Hooters or something.
My other first thought was: God bless Arizona senators. Whether their names are John or Jon, they're usually good for a blog entry or two (or three) every year.
The news that brought my blog-jones back to life was this wonderful item about Arizona senator John Ensign. Frankly, it seems like it's about time we get a story like this. I've been feeling a real post-Spitzer, post-Blago political crash-n-burn lull the last few months. So I think I speak for all Americans when I say: We wanted this story. We needed this story.
My first thought was: Really? It's just that it seems soooo cliche now for Republican senators to have affairs with their staff. Good lord. Get out a little bit. Be creative. Meet a waitress at Hooters or something.
My other first thought was: God bless Arizona senators. Whether their names are John or Jon, they're usually good for a blog entry or two (or three) every year.
May 26, 2009
Sold! And why Tuesday is the new Monday
I'm just starting to read up on new Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, but if our old pal Mitt (Schlag) Romney is against her, I feel like my decision is probably made.
I'm sure thrilled that today is the beginning of a four-day work week, but Tuesday is still off to a sucky start because (listed in chronological order of when I read and/or tasted them, not in order of importance)...
1) I read that former Wilco member Jay Bennett died this weekend. Bennett was an influential part of the band when it recorded the albums that are by far my two favorite, Summerteeth and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.
Although I think all of Wilco's music has been interesting since Bennett was fired, it's not nearly as much fun anymore - an assertion that I think is strongly supported by the band's latest, Wilco (the album), which is online now and being released soon. In an NPR music blog, one reader referred to Wilco's recent music as "dad rock," which, sadly, I had to agree with. But someone once told me never to speak ill of a recently deceased multi-instrumentalist's former bandmates, so I'll leave it there. Point is, Bennett helped create some of the songs that became my favorites during the past 10 years, and it's sad that he's gone. R.I.P., Jay Bennett.
2) I cracked open my Trader Joe's Essential Greens Veggie smoothie? juice? residue-in-a-bottle? for some healthy, mid-morning refreshment and - I probably should have figured this out from the photos of cucumber, kale, spinach, parsley and probably fungus on the packaging, but - blecccccchhhhhhhhh. Maybe it's considered healthy because it's crushing my will to eat or drink anything else today.
I think it's ironic that where the expiration date is printed on the bottle, instead of "Use by" or "Drink by," this item has "Enjoy by May 29." I don't think so. I don't think there's a date by which I will enjoy this.
3) The California Supreme Court missed a really big chance to do the right thing when the justices voted not to overturn the unfair state law created by Prop 8. Other states have figured out this issue. Can not figure out why it's so tricky in this state, which was once considered to be progressive. On the plus side, more protest marches coming up, I'm sure.
Still, I'm determined to finish this veggie drink. Maybe if I add some sugar, things will start to turn around.
May 1, 2009
Save me a seat!
It might just be because I'm looking for an excuse to post one more link to the all-time greatest T-shirt in the history of ever*... but I saw this headline about a very prominent soon-to-be-vacant seat and I'm wondering if anyone has thought about getting the well-coifed ex-governor of Illinois to take care of filling it. I think Mr. Blagojevich has some time on his hands and I'm sure he'd get top dollar for it.
* Come on, people. Pony up a few bucks and get one for yourself or a loved one. It's the perfect Mother's Day gift!
Thanks for visiting! Don't be shy about leaving a comment (click the word "Comments" below) - we love comments - or joining the fast-growing ranks of SFTC followers. Just click the "Follow" button in the right sidebar. Google makes the rest easy.
- - - -
Thanks for visiting! Don't be shy about leaving a comment (click the word "Comments" below) - we love comments - or joining the fast-growing ranks of SFTC followers. Just click the "Follow" button in the right sidebar. Google makes the rest easy.
April 28, 2009
Thanks for your vote, suckers
I was just noticing that my computer keyboard at the office has much less cat hair on it (and in it) than my computer keyboard at home.
Which has almost nothing to do with the fact that I just read - thanks to a tweet from your good buddy George Stephanopoulos - that Pennsylvania's Arlen Specter is switching parties, and is now the Senate's newest Democrat. That's great for Democrats: Assuming Norm Coleman ever gives up (seriously, this is still going on?), the Dems will have the all-important fillibuster-proof 60 seats that they need to very efficiently continue their investigations of important issues like steroids in sports. So I'm happy about that.
Still, it does seem somewhat unfair to the Keystone State Republicans who voted for him - personally, party affiliation is one of those little things I'd want to know before casting my ballot. On the other hand, I think those people are the ones who were busy clinging to their guns and religion, so no big loss.
Which has almost nothing to do with the fact that I just read - thanks to a tweet from your good buddy George Stephanopoulos - that Pennsylvania's Arlen Specter is switching parties, and is now the Senate's newest Democrat. That's great for Democrats: Assuming Norm Coleman ever gives up (seriously, this is still going on?), the Dems will have the all-important fillibuster-proof 60 seats that they need to very efficiently continue their investigations of important issues like steroids in sports. So I'm happy about that.
Still, it does seem somewhat unfair to the Keystone State Republicans who voted for him - personally, party affiliation is one of those little things I'd want to know before casting my ballot. On the other hand, I think those people are the ones who were busy clinging to their guns and religion, so no big loss.
April 14, 2009
Insanity, thy name is slightly altered obscure political quotes
Yesss! G-Rod is back in the news, baby.
Read all about Blagojevich's latest court appearance! Buy a handsome commemorative t-shirt designed by the creative team behind SFTC! (While supplies last.*) Brush the hell out of your hair!
Aside from feeling a reassuring sense that there's probably plenty of mockability left in the case of the former Illinois governor, I gleaned one other thing from today's coverage. I'm no legal expert, so I'm not really sure if it's even possible to plead insanity in response to the charges Blago is facing. But I think that's where he's headed.
Because if you need to make yourself look certifiably nutso, misquoting a little-known Teddy Roosevelt line seems like a good way to go.
The New York Times, describing Blago's post-game press conference outside the federal building in Chicago: “Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough,” Mr. Blagojevich said at one point, offering a slight permutation on something Theodore Roosevelt once said. “You got that?”
You bet, G-Rod. We've got it. Loud and clear.
* I don't think they're in danger of running out, since I've sold roughly zero of these so far. (I know, shocking, right?) (But, still, you should definitely place your order today.)
- - - -
Thanks for visiting! Don't be shy about leaving a comment (click the word "Comments" below) - we love comments - or joining the fast-growing ranks of SFTC followers. Just click the "Follow" button in the right sidebar. Google makes the rest easy.
Read all about Blagojevich's latest court appearance! Buy a handsome commemorative t-shirt designed by the creative team behind SFTC! (While supplies last.*) Brush the hell out of your hair!
Aside from feeling a reassuring sense that there's probably plenty of mockability left in the case of the former Illinois governor, I gleaned one other thing from today's coverage. I'm no legal expert, so I'm not really sure if it's even possible to plead insanity in response to the charges Blago is facing. But I think that's where he's headed.
Because if you need to make yourself look certifiably nutso, misquoting a little-known Teddy Roosevelt line seems like a good way to go.
The New York Times, describing Blago's post-game press conference outside the federal building in Chicago: “Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough,” Mr. Blagojevich said at one point, offering a slight permutation on something Theodore Roosevelt once said. “You got that?”
You bet, G-Rod. We've got it. Loud and clear.
* I don't think they're in danger of running out, since I've sold roughly zero of these so far. (I know, shocking, right?) (But, still, you should definitely place your order today.)
- - - -
Thanks for visiting! Don't be shy about leaving a comment (click the word "Comments" below) - we love comments - or joining the fast-growing ranks of SFTC followers. Just click the "Follow" button in the right sidebar. Google makes the rest easy.
March 18, 2009
Feels like the first time
Here's a macabre hypothetical situation for you: Let's say your fabulously wealthy great aunt dies (seriously, it's hypothetical - I'm sure your great aunt is in perfect health) and leaves tons of dough to you and your 20 cousins.
Are you going to have a contest with your other cousins to see who can spend their inheritance first? If I know you, dear reader, at all, I know you'd think to yourself it would be difficult to spend the money quickly enough to win the contest because there's probably a very long waiting list for the Bugatti Veyron that you've had your eye on. And then, you'd quickly say, "No, of course not! That would be tasteless."
Which is sort of what I thought when I read in the New York Times that city and state governments are basically competing for the apparently glamorous title of First To Spend Federal Stimulus Money.
I know my analogy is a little bit off in the sense that, unlike your hypothetical great aunt, our hypothetically great nation hasn't passed away. But I find it a little strange that even one elected official thought it would be worthwhile to lay claim to "first to spend" status, let alone that men and women in government offices all over the country apparently had the same exact idea.
Like, in 30 years, are tourists going to be flocking to Missouri to see the formerly dilapidated bridge that was (maybe) the first public works project funded by the Great Stimulus of 2009? I don't think so either. How much of the stimulus money do you figure is being wasted on paying people to research and publicize this nonsense?
Awkward transition: Another organization that likes to claim superlatives is Hammacher Schlemmer, the catalog/site that purports to sell products that are "the best, the only and the unexpected." (I know "unexpected" isn't really a superlative, but whatever.)
I mention HS because I just won a $50 gift certificate from them! Wahoo!
I earned the prize through a drawing for people who respond to the company's occasional online surveys about products they're considering selling - recent surveys have been about stuff like paper shredders and dehumidifiers, but Hammacher has lots of stuff that's more exciting than that. So really, I earned it.
Back in the Chicago days, I went to their testing site a few times to be a part of consumer panels that reviewed gizmos like insulated coffee mugs and mini stereo speakers, and I got $25 gift certificates each time. I don't think I ever spent any of them, because all of the cool stuff cost way more, and I never really had much of a need for the cheaper stuff.
But now, I'm determined to put my 50 Hammacher bucks to good use. It's your vote, America. Should I get this, these or this?
Are you going to have a contest with your other cousins to see who can spend their inheritance first? If I know you, dear reader, at all, I know you'd think to yourself it would be difficult to spend the money quickly enough to win the contest because there's probably a very long waiting list for the Bugatti Veyron that you've had your eye on. And then, you'd quickly say, "No, of course not! That would be tasteless."
Which is sort of what I thought when I read in the New York Times that city and state governments are basically competing for the apparently glamorous title of First To Spend Federal Stimulus Money.
I know my analogy is a little bit off in the sense that, unlike your hypothetical great aunt, our hypothetically great nation hasn't passed away. But I find it a little strange that even one elected official thought it would be worthwhile to lay claim to "first to spend" status, let alone that men and women in government offices all over the country apparently had the same exact idea.
Like, in 30 years, are tourists going to be flocking to Missouri to see the formerly dilapidated bridge that was (maybe) the first public works project funded by the Great Stimulus of 2009? I don't think so either. How much of the stimulus money do you figure is being wasted on paying people to research and publicize this nonsense?
Awkward transition: Another organization that likes to claim superlatives is Hammacher Schlemmer, the catalog/site that purports to sell products that are "the best, the only and the unexpected." (I know "unexpected" isn't really a superlative, but whatever.)
I mention HS because I just won a $50 gift certificate from them! Wahoo!
I earned the prize through a drawing for people who respond to the company's occasional online surveys about products they're considering selling - recent surveys have been about stuff like paper shredders and dehumidifiers, but Hammacher has lots of stuff that's more exciting than that. So really, I earned it.
Back in the Chicago days, I went to their testing site a few times to be a part of consumer panels that reviewed gizmos like insulated coffee mugs and mini stereo speakers, and I got $25 gift certificates each time. I don't think I ever spent any of them, because all of the cool stuff cost way more, and I never really had much of a need for the cheaper stuff.
But now, I'm determined to put my 50 Hammacher bucks to good use. It's your vote, America. Should I get this, these or this?
March 6, 2009
Throwing caution to the wind while at the same time going out on a limb
Secretary Clinton's spring break in Europe, covered in today's New York Times, is probably of major importance.
But I'd like to ignore the news value because a few parts of the article just, um...
1) I realize this is probably on the Times editor, not on Hillary, but that headline calling the entire continent of Europe an "essential partner" in fighting climate change, terrorism and the collapsing economy? That doesn't seem like a very bold statement, does it? I mean, aren't there are only a few other continents to choose from - I don't think North America is in the running, since that's, well, that's us. And she probably ruled out Antarctica early in the process.
2) I've never spoken to a large group of people from other countries who all speak other languages. But if I ever did, I don't think I'd be sure they didn't have to read between the lines too much.
Case in point: Clinton told the European diplomats that the U.S. “democracy has been around far longer than European democracy.” The article reports that the comment drew "raised eyebrows and scattered murmurs," which I think are like the diplomatic equivalent of engaging in a bloody street brawl.
Of course, if someone like, I don't know, this guy, had made that comment, we'd all be laughing our asses off at how dumb he is, what with the Red, White and Blue only having been around for a couple of centuries. Apparently, though, the Times thought that, rather than being historically inaccurate, Hillary was simply misunderstood: "[Her] intention, it appeared, was to compare the United States to Europe’s experiment in trans-national democracy, the European Union."
Memo to foreign leaders: Learn how to read our minds, so if it occasionally sounds like we're insulting you during the next four years, you'll know where we're coming from.
3) If you're concerned that Mrs. C. can be hard to understand, put those worries aside. Because, apparently, she can serve up the cliches like nobody's business. And everybody loves cliches, especially when they're strung together, four at a time. The Times story includes this quote from an interview the Secretary gave to NPR interview about her trip: "We’re testing the waters; we’re determining what is possible; we’re turning the pages; we’re resetting buttons.”
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds like it might be a fire hazard.
But I'd like to ignore the news value because a few parts of the article just, um...
1) I realize this is probably on the Times editor, not on Hillary, but that headline calling the entire continent of Europe an "essential partner" in fighting climate change, terrorism and the collapsing economy? That doesn't seem like a very bold statement, does it? I mean, aren't there are only a few other continents to choose from - I don't think North America is in the running, since that's, well, that's us. And she probably ruled out Antarctica early in the process.
2) I've never spoken to a large group of people from other countries who all speak other languages. But if I ever did, I don't think I'd be sure they didn't have to read between the lines too much.
Case in point: Clinton told the European diplomats that the U.S. “democracy has been around far longer than European democracy.” The article reports that the comment drew "raised eyebrows and scattered murmurs," which I think are like the diplomatic equivalent of engaging in a bloody street brawl.
Of course, if someone like, I don't know, this guy, had made that comment, we'd all be laughing our asses off at how dumb he is, what with the Red, White and Blue only having been around for a couple of centuries. Apparently, though, the Times thought that, rather than being historically inaccurate, Hillary was simply misunderstood: "[Her] intention, it appeared, was to compare the United States to Europe’s experiment in trans-national democracy, the European Union."
Memo to foreign leaders: Learn how to read our minds, so if it occasionally sounds like we're insulting you during the next four years, you'll know where we're coming from.
3) If you're concerned that Mrs. C. can be hard to understand, put those worries aside. Because, apparently, she can serve up the cliches like nobody's business. And everybody loves cliches, especially when they're strung together, four at a time. The Times story includes this quote from an interview the Secretary gave to NPR interview about her trip: "We’re testing the waters; we’re determining what is possible; we’re turning the pages; we’re resetting buttons.”
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it sounds like it might be a fire hazard.
February 26, 2009
This doesn't change Jon Kyl possibly being a moron
Courtesy of the ultrawonderful GlutenGirl, there's an update on the Washington Post site on yesterday's topic du jour - the challenges facing our nation's capital in its quest to get its very own representative in Congress.
Good sign that there's some progress, today, I guess. But it seems like our brilliant Senators can't just make it easy. Unless I'm missing something, their compromise seems to boil down to this: We'll give ya' your seat in the House, but we'd also like to encourage you to buy more guns. What could possibly go wrong there?
I think you and I both know whose idea this is.*
Thanks, GG!
* I don't really know whose idea it was, but if you take it to mean that there's a chance that Arizona Senator Jon Kyl came up with this horrendous plan, who am I to tell you otherwise?
Good sign that there's some progress, today, I guess. But it seems like our brilliant Senators can't just make it easy. Unless I'm missing something, their compromise seems to boil down to this: We'll give ya' your seat in the House, but we'd also like to encourage you to buy more guns. What could possibly go wrong there?
I think you and I both know whose idea this is.*
Thanks, GG!
* I don't really know whose idea it was, but if you take it to mean that there's a chance that Arizona Senator Jon Kyl came up with this horrendous plan, who am I to tell you otherwise?
February 25, 2009
Jon Kyl might be a moron
The last time the junior senator from Arizona was mentioned on SFTC, it was for being one of the dolts who appeared live on TV from the Republican National Convention, unable to pronounce the word pundit properly.
This time, Jon Kyl rates a post because he's one of the federal legislators bold enough to explain why residents of Washington, D.C., still don't have a representative in Congress. Which is strange, because I'm pretty sure those people live in the United States. Washington is part of the U.S., right?
Kyl says D.C. doesn't get a vote in the House, because, well, because of the Constitution. As he explained to the New York Times: “Only states may be represented in the House of Representatives. Not territories, not districts or other federal possessions.” (I think he also added: "Nanny-nanny boo-boo.")
Nice job reading the exact words of the document, jackass. Also, a convenient way to prevent a group of citizens - a group that, if Joe Lieberman's math is correct, is larger than the population of four states - from having a say in federal government. But who's counting?
Now, if only there were a way to, I don't know, add language to the Constitution, or make certain changes to the original document - like if we wanted to give women the right to vote, or end slavery.
I can't help but think Washingtonians are somewhat to blame. I mean, D.C. is, like, sooooo close to where all of those government buildings are. You'd think these people would bump in to a lawmaker now and then. Maybe they could bring it up in conversation.
On the other hand, I think it's kind of cool, kind of ballsy, that the District protests its lack of representation right on its license plates. Where other states have "Live free or die" or "America's dairyland" across the bottom of their plates, D.C. went with this. Very subtle.
I guess if these people really cared about being represented, they could just move a few miles into Maryland or Virginia. Or even West Virginia, which according to their license plates, is "Wild, wonderful."
This time, Jon Kyl rates a post because he's one of the federal legislators bold enough to explain why residents of Washington, D.C., still don't have a representative in Congress. Which is strange, because I'm pretty sure those people live in the United States. Washington is part of the U.S., right?
Kyl says D.C. doesn't get a vote in the House, because, well, because of the Constitution. As he explained to the New York Times: “Only states may be represented in the House of Representatives. Not territories, not districts or other federal possessions.” (I think he also added: "Nanny-nanny boo-boo.")
Nice job reading the exact words of the document, jackass. Also, a convenient way to prevent a group of citizens - a group that, if Joe Lieberman's math is correct, is larger than the population of four states - from having a say in federal government. But who's counting?
Now, if only there were a way to, I don't know, add language to the Constitution, or make certain changes to the original document - like if we wanted to give women the right to vote, or end slavery.
I can't help but think Washingtonians are somewhat to blame. I mean, D.C. is, like, sooooo close to where all of those government buildings are. You'd think these people would bump in to a lawmaker now and then. Maybe they could bring it up in conversation.
On the other hand, I think it's kind of cool, kind of ballsy, that the District protests its lack of representation right on its license plates. Where other states have "Live free or die" or "America's dairyland" across the bottom of their plates, D.C. went with this. Very subtle.
I guess if these people really cared about being represented, they could just move a few miles into Maryland or Virginia. Or even West Virginia, which according to their license plates, is "Wild, wonderful."
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