tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58743479888679284612024-03-04T21:58:55.869-08:00Sorry for the convenienceBlogging without government bailout money since 2008Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.comBlogger410125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-50130045174440592322011-08-02T19:54:00.000-07:002011-08-02T19:54:36.547-07:00Looking at the bright side<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkC8qbYzFSXyfAIjzzOkkWdsSzowJ02mqOQ8EKmN5f_-ATAulAZkSFtFFecvLWQ8yXS7sRyHGf-vteyDTRClxe_Jd2XFQf3aFx4dsP2DcSk4XXFOyEg3JssEv-1wLT7V2LANuJ13-LiY/s1600/6000+years.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="70" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkC8qbYzFSXyfAIjzzOkkWdsSzowJ02mqOQ8EKmN5f_-ATAulAZkSFtFFecvLWQ8yXS7sRyHGf-vteyDTRClxe_Jd2XFQf3aFx4dsP2DcSk4XXFOyEg3JssEv-1wLT7V2LANuJ13-LiY/s400/6000+years.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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I suppose this reflects a <strike>somewhat</strike> completely skewed view of the world, but when I saw this headline on CNN.com tonight, my first thought was: Well, at least there's a chance they'll be alive <a href="http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS392US392&aq=f&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=when+was+the+last+time+the+orioles+won+the+world+series#sclient=psy&hl=en&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS392US392&source=hp&q=when+was+the+last+time+the+baltimore+orioles+won+the+world+series%3F&pbx=1&oq=when+was+the+last+time+the+baltimore+orioles+won+the+world+series%3F&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=3723l3723l3l4208l1l1l0l0l0l0l193l193l0.1l1l0&fp=1&biw=1234&bih=848&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&cad=b">the next time my Baltimore Orioles win a World Series</a>. A chance.Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-32387793658414987702011-07-27T22:52:00.000-07:002011-07-27T22:57:22.294-07:00By the people, for the people, screw the people: The shocking conclusionA mere seven years after instituting a program that would eventually issue 180,000 traffic tickets to motorists who drove through red lights - outrageously expensive tickets that, in a hilarious little twist, it now turns out, <a href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2011/07/by-people-for-people-and-screw-people.html">weren't the kind of traffic tickets that you actually have to pay</a> - the Los Angeles City Council voted unanimously today to discontinue the initiative.<br />
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After only seven years and 180,000 tickets. That L.A. City Council is one agile little decision-making legislative body, ain't it?<br />
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Here's the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-red-light-cameras-20110728,0,6795102.story">Los Angeles Times story about today's staggering development</a>, complete with lots of photos of - well, what else? - red traffic lights.<br />
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Here's my <a href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2011/07/by-people-for-people-and-screw-people.html">previous blog post with more background</a>. (And a photo of Jason Bateman, if you're into that kind of thing.)Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-7568429302621681272011-07-26T14:54:00.000-07:002011-07-26T14:55:25.711-07:00By the people, for the people and screw the peopleWhichever side of the political spectrum you're on, it's easy to get riled up about the government these days. <br />
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On the national scene, Democrats, Republicans and Tea Baggers all all hate Washington because - respectively - Congressional leadership, the president and space-aliens-from-god-knows-where are out to run our country into the ground. In case you haven't seen it yet, a <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/search/%23fuckyouwashington">#F---YouWashington</a> hashtag has been lighting up Twitter for the past few weeks, prompted mostly by this debt ceiling fiasco, which seems mostly to be an excuse for the ultra-tan John Boehner to get some extra broadcast time for his <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/07/john-boehner-loves-him-some-green-ties/242557/">apparently limitless collection of unabashedly green neckwear</a>.<br />
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Here in California, the state is something like $600 trillion in debt (I might be exaggerating a bit), the public education system is one of the worst in the nation and ... I imagine there are lots of other nasty problems, too, but the weather is so nice, who can complain?<br />
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The point is: We're all used to bitching and moaning about getting taxed to hell and screwed over by the jerks in federal and state government. That's old news. Somehow it seems worse when you learn that you've been getting royally hosed by your local government. People who are your neighbors. But another wonderful - and very creative - example of that came to light today in Los Angeles. <br />
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The city is deciding whether to discontinue its controversial red-light traffic camera program - where motorists get their photos taken by automatic cameras when they run red lights, and then have to pay a whopping fine, on the order of $480. The main issue being that although they generate a lot of tickets, they're not actually an effective traffic safety mechanism, which should have been the point.<br />
Now, it turns out, those "fines" for running red lights weren't actually <em>fines </em>so much as they were, um, suggested donations. Today, in an <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/07/la-motorists-who-paid-red-light-tickets-outraged-to-learn-they-didnt-have-to.html">L.A. Times blog post</a>, the esteemed* city councilman Bill Rosendahl explains: <br />
<blockquote>"The consequence is somebody calling you from one of these collection agencies and saying 'pay up.' And that's it. There's no real penalty in terms of your driver's license or any other consequences if you don't pay."</blockquote><br />
Yep. Turns out that the tickets were actually part of a "voluntary payment program." As in optional. As in, keep that horrible black-and-white traffic-camera photo, keep your money and treat yourself to a weekend getaway instead. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjqkCaebMWxg9a7NnW2oZoXVDhZawDmWBUXvt91cRyJv_bq1b8Xj0v7uF23LrUxd_8PFCoI4zBmYLzQkzlzwm91ufby5XMSYNHIi1xWPshoCO098h0RYt_xysDzDhfqz5U7V-FaKU_2I/s1600/BW+photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjqkCaebMWxg9a7NnW2oZoXVDhZawDmWBUXvt91cRyJv_bq1b8Xj0v7uF23LrUxd_8PFCoI4zBmYLzQkzlzwm91ufby5XMSYNHIi1xWPshoCO098h0RYt_xysDzDhfqz5U7V-FaKU_2I/s320/BW+photo.JPG" t$="true" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Caught on camera.</em></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Which I'm guessing wasn't exactly made clear on the violation notices. And, which I'm guessing is going to be news to all of those people who assumed that the traffic tickets they got in the mail from the City of Los Angeles and that huge Amount Due were - how do I put this? - real.<br />
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Wonder what other Los Angeles fines and fees I've been paying that are actually voluntary payment programs. Only one way to find out.... <br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">* "Esteemed" in the same sense that the tickets seemed "voluntary."</span></em>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-21490049823555893242011-07-05T22:35:00.000-07:002011-07-05T22:55:38.324-07:00Preparing for Carmageddon<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">If you live in or near Los Angeles, or if you're Twittered or Facebooked or LinkedInned with someone in L.A. - or if know someone who knows someone who acted in a movie with Kevin Bacon - chances are you've heard that a big portion of the 405 freeway is going to be closed next weekend.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Which isn't that big of a deal, except that about half a million cars use the route each weekend, including, most importantly, mine. And that - even when every lane is open - you can usually count on getting stuck in traffic.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">In other words, it's going to be a complete and utter nightmare. (Well, either that or I'll just go to the beach.)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">This city being the creative capital of the world, we've come up with a catchy name for the event: Carmageddon.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The Los Angeles Times <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/print/2011/may/29/local/la-me-405-closure-20110529">covered it this way a few months ago</a>, which was fine, except that the reporter made one observation that I found rather odd: </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj49audVgpkTwFvd7tXS9Ynba3gq6lXXzJRpt9fvD9KqDSxLnrIgdt1TwkyzRfqOdLdtuMDhRIvDfFUfDVswrPMuGowkiIeAx-fBp1tJwihIDMALy85J7Fe1vCi6jZv9KdwjOEm39vbFc/s1600/Carmageddon+paragraph.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="67" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj49audVgpkTwFvd7tXS9Ynba3gq6lXXzJRpt9fvD9KqDSxLnrIgdt1TwkyzRfqOdLdtuMDhRIvDfFUfDVswrPMuGowkiIeAx-fBp1tJwihIDMALy85J7Fe1vCi6jZv9KdwjOEm39vbFc/s400/Carmageddon+paragraph.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>(Click to enlarge)</i></td></tr>
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</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I don't play the lottery too much anymore. Do a lot of winning tickets have 11 picks? Or three-digit numbers? More to the point: Is there any possible way the writer could have made that potentially helpful information - alternate routes and bus lines for those who need to get around L.A. - any less useful? Thank you, L.A. Times. Thank you for nothing.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Which leads me to the main reason for this nugget of bloggy goodness. Despite the Times' best efforts, for those of us whose driving activity is going to be affected by the freeway closure, there really are only three ways to prepare. They are:</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">1) Leave Los Angeles for the weekend.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">2) Stay extremely close to home for the weekend. (Which works for me, since "close to home" incorporates "beach.")</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">3) Outfit yourself properly, with one of the five following new t-shirts designed by S and J Market, the official apparel mart of SFTC. I give you: Carmageddon wear 2011, available for a limited time only!* </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>(Subtle plug: Click images to visit the S and J Market store.)</i></div><div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_survived_carmageddon_tshirt-235502566657850958"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0gqbVQ7NnkWbYi7e46Qx-rRZ7Fat-f8af-dxgnvDjBxZXdK2DQwz1CvdSYMTW7D1mNtjrsx9q4a6l4KiVX-mF7u-t8OxsvWmI170VRbZoRDSxlH1xk5LIgrLznRzh9QKgOzuGUmJRKsE/s320/I+survived+Carmageddon-front.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/carmageddon_on_the_405_tshirt-235952481618706776"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv8z9kRZ9uumS_bd4UjUtI7YhJ4vcNbJPP8fCdlRU0H-1AyAB-W5hqenpJYtsP2_wU9brCmKCNt75o-j-UbUY88BTyAiEi0uHKRR41G9gTolAEvVvTFSSi83nnzZIwtjBK7PGjUNi0P30/s320/Carmageddon+olive-front+only.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/welcome_to_carmageddon_mamba_special_tshirt-235531218125449899"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1rqcNll5SIHouRoBYTW1pSWKfk-jfEGJ3feHd1oWbYiW4t3uAZ1dwkt8XzmnadD9SMQ0XEtdOmk0SFNxc-YshZCNYTWTikqjAPV5Dfaf_jNLEZaSE-2PpvSARTxMNlsbU3IiwiURKC7o/s320/Welcome+to+Carmageddon.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/welcome_to_carmageddon_front_n_back_tshirt-235430059893828383"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuLzaCqQqb856GmlBhVZyofA7dJmxCQBoQHnChJPP9De2rTtzMtUm6qJt388zvJg7dwu5guOEarWDASnt7bivMinDuvtA_HnSaq1EjMAy2GgezpSiqnB9r6g56lBb1XcpQlzO9Hl-0OBs/s320/Welcome+to+Carmageddon-back.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/see_you_at_carmageddon_tshirt-235650372372210478"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdnGm65MppT-GYko0DBd0QlrqFEJ2MUcGk-Qq_g4FqEdot9n1919CbnRzJlYclYiGfs6Vi811Wcgt5z_BUpUC59g9nQmPaMbFB7KB9B3B-WYZeKNgL9KhhVCxY-_NhiGI2IVRCxKKTaj8/s320/See+you+at+Carmageddon.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Don't live in L.A.? <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/sbinla/gifts?cg=196415395602713687">Pick up one or a few anyway</a>! They're the ultimate mid-summer gifts/conversation starters. And you'll make me feel better about having spent a really long time designing apocalyptic versions of the 405 freeway sign. Win-win.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">* Not really. I'll probably keep them posted until I sell a whole bunch more.</span></i></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-71978934436323589362011-06-28T22:15:00.000-07:002011-06-29T10:28:54.899-07:00In which Aimee Mann doesn't hate my suggestionI read today on Facebook - rapidly, and sadly, becoming my go-to source for Important News of the World - that Tom Petty has a bone to pick with Michele Bachmann.<br />
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It seems that yesterday in Iowa, as Bachmann closed the kickoff speech for her soon-to-be-failed presidential bid, her staff played Petty's 1977 song "American Girl." Makes sense, what with her nationality and gender being properly reflected right there in the title. Of course, this didn't go over too well with Mr. Petty, whose political tastes run a little more toward the mentally capable. (Here's the <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2011/06/michele-bachmann-upsets-tom-petty-with-use-of-american-girl.html">L.A. Times recap</a> of the incident.)<br />
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So I wondered: What would be a better - and somewhat more recent - pop song that would just as accurately summarize Ms. Bachmann's campaign and carry an equal measure of musical credibility? Two and a half seconds later, I had it.<br />
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Or, actually, Aimee Mann had it, in a song from her 1995 album, I'm With Stupid:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SjwfNAYdBVQ?rel=0" width="425"></iframe><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Thanks to <b><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/lightdarkens">lightdarkens</a> </b>in the UK for letting me link to your YouTube video.</span></i><br />
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I thought this was a pretty good idea. So I thought I'd tweet the idea and see if Ms. Mann - of whom I've long been a fan - would see it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv-C4NbOxDUuG-ALQNR08vFyZjbmC9QqFhyphenhyphenOtiuE57QpXogiEWulPVF0BMY-4wG-L_UVuwMYNHsLJPcRE6ICww102nYIyp9FPFHlX_T89Sqg1vQoQ_YpuJSpCtr7aSn9xOtlrnjj7XrZo/s1600/SFTC+tweet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv-C4NbOxDUuG-ALQNR08vFyZjbmC9QqFhyphenhyphenOtiuE57QpXogiEWulPVF0BMY-4wG-L_UVuwMYNHsLJPcRE6ICww102nYIyp9FPFHlX_T89Sqg1vQoQ_YpuJSpCtr7aSn9xOtlrnjj7XrZo/s400/SFTC+tweet.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Sure enough, a few minutes later, my BlackBerry buzzed. The highlight of my week, for sure.<br />
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Aimee Mann had responded:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxRGO2PnVy0nvoGDpJXm3MW-jL7Vs9wFj4qV3eGjN5xAlfkjU6nuqRoyXXMPU5ixg_z3TtqLQV7G5XUWtcJr1Ojdtq8HLkn3ZtxvZZOkmTdUFTgTkE-UESmXq1PjZJni_4ij1XVev6Zzw/s1600/Aimee+Mann+tweet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxRGO2PnVy0nvoGDpJXm3MW-jL7Vs9wFj4qV3eGjN5xAlfkjU6nuqRoyXXMPU5ixg_z3TtqLQV7G5XUWtcJr1Ojdtq8HLkn3ZtxvZZOkmTdUFTgTkE-UESmXq1PjZJni_4ij1XVev6Zzw/s400/Aimee+Mann+tweet.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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(Thanks, Aimee!)<br />
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Now, how do I get the Bachmann campaign on board?Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-40838282138496430112011-04-25T22:28:00.000-07:002011-04-26T18:28:05.082-07:00My kind of townWhat a weekend. What a city.<br />
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</div><div>Several great meals, including a magnificent dinner at <a href="http://www.trurestaurant.com/">one of the best restaurants anywhere</a> followed by an unexpected bonus: a tour of the kitchen (including a quick hello and thank-you to the executive chef) provided by an unbelievably gracious waiter. <i>A lot</i> of walking and public-transportation-riding. (Kinda forgotten how to do that in L.A.) A solo late-night photo expedition. A completely-worth-it 90-minute wait to get into the one-and-only <a href="http://www.hotdougs.com/specials.htm">Hot Doug's</a>. A picture-perfect day for Cubs baseball at Wrigley Field, which, as my wife pointed out, "smells <i>amazing</i>." Reunions with a couple of very special friends. First encounters with, seemingly, dozens of new high-rises that have sprung up since I left just a few years ago, including the stunning Aqua (bottom photo). And, a return to the exact spot where my wife and I first met, five years ago. </div><div><br />
<div>Going to have to get back for another visit soon. If I'm lucky, I'll get a few more sights like these:<br />
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</div></div></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-86942347047178637462011-04-13T14:32:00.000-07:002011-04-14T10:00:38.753-07:00Deep thought of the month, Number 1*<strong><span style="font-size: large;">"Saying something and then repeating it won't necessarily make what you said any more profound. But it will make it rhyme."</span></strong><br />
<strong>- Me</strong><br />
<br />
I'm still working on the phrasing, but I wanted to memorialize it here. Because, you know, it's pretty profound. And I'm not sure it would fit on one of <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/sbinla">my hilarious T-shirts</a>. Which are now <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/sbinla">available for purchase</a>. In an array of colors and sizes.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>* Likely to be Number 1 of 1. But who's keeping track?</em></span>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-66612301972653968972011-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:002011-02-24T13:55:49.137-08:00Phood foto phunIf you were the editor who wrote captions for the photos accompanying the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/features/food/la-fo-review-beechwood-20110224,0,5510822.story">Los Angeles Times' restaurant reviews</a>, wouldn't you try to learn the visual differences between - just for example - a stuffed chicken on the one hand and pierogies on a bed of sauteed cabbage on the other?<br />
<br />
No. Apparently, you would not.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="347" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaahzO-NlbNDCrGlu6k3LaCnWdk7iqFDtqNYrT4QFPjbW_4t0XCo2DYbzEONhLT86lhbE5lkgy_3XpolVpGlgrHF5pWzBVuG9B8HYsZ0RVMEnfXi3UXCU8Qj1CylSmZVcw9qRKz3GfAJY/s400/Not+chicken.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unless Jidori is Hebrew for "cleverly disguised to look like pierogies," I think this description is a bit off. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>One other quick thought: Are those of us in L.A. and New York getting to the point where a restaurant having a "Top Chef" alum on staff is sort of like having a basketball team with a "tall dude"?* <br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">* I think we are.</span></em>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-1064586376204985942011-02-18T09:39:00.000-08:002011-02-18T09:39:03.062-08:00A sharp mindIt seems <em>highly </em>unlikely, but maybe my migraines are being caused <a href="http://www.latimes.com/health/boostershots/la-heb-knife-skull-20110217,0,655449.story">by something like this</a>.<br />
<br />
I hope not, though, because the doctors who were unable to properly diagnose that dude's problem four years ago deserve to have the title of Stupidest Doctors on the Face of the Planet all to themselves.Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-31583910582583117372011-02-15T16:49:00.000-08:002011-02-15T20:40:41.411-08:00Why I'm waiting until (at least) tomorrow for those tattoos and piercingsI'm just about an hour away from my first-ever visit to the inside of an MRI.<br />
<br />
I understand that metal objects and recently inked tattoos don't really get along very well with MRI machines, so I'm thankful that I recently made the decision to not get my nose pierced, and that I managed to go another year without a tattoo. (I had been thinking about getting one that replicated the design of the snazziest t-shirt I've ever designed, <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/brush_less_flossmoor_tshirt-235527803858692662">which you can find here</a>.)<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm going in to get my brain scanned, which makes me think that tomorrow, I'll be quoting Dizzy Dean a lot. In 1934, the pitcher, then with the St. Louis Cardinals, was hit in the head by a baseball while trying to break up a double play, and suffered a concussion. After his trip to the hospital, he reportedly said, "They x-rayed my head and found nothing."Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-34352122007051872002011-02-07T17:04:00.000-08:002011-02-07T17:04:28.447-08:00I've Got Reservations*My aunt and uncle are coming to L.A. next month. The other day, to ensure that I was aware of every possible detail I might need to know about their travel plans as well as some I might not - and, possibly, to give me some kind of guilt trip for not having an apartment with a second bedroom - my aunt forwarded the hotel's reservation confirmation email.<br />
<br />
I wasn't sure what she intended for me to do with the information. (Make a note of the last four digits of her credit card number, maybe?) But I decided I'd use it as an opportunity to write back and reinforce the notion that I am Very Excited about her visit.<br />
<br />
To that end, I sent a one-word response: "Awesome!"<br />
<br />
I thought that would probably be the end of the conversation. I was mistaken.<br />
<br />
A few minutes later, a reply arrived. "Hardly," it read. "A much overused word, I'm afraid!"**<br />
<br />
There was only one thing to write back: "Is 'Whatever' overused?"<br />
<br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">* Post title inspired by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ox56kjygfo">this Wilco song</a>.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">** Capitalization corrected to improve readability.</span></em>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-75083010358871010922011-02-01T19:38:00.000-08:002011-02-01T19:42:38.656-08:00Why I'm pretty sure Juliette Binoche hates Yugos: A dream illustrated with helpful linksAs if you needed further proof that my brain just <em>does not shut down </em>- even when I'm sleeping - I have been having some wacky dreams lately. Often two the same night. I've been visited during the night by celebrities, strangers, and people I grew up with but haven't seen or thought about in 23 years.<br />
<br />
Oh sure, there are the common, everyday dreams that everyone has - like the one last week, in which I came off the bench to hit a <a href="http://sportsthenandnow.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Paxson-Bulls.jpg">few clutch baskets</a> for the Bulls in the seventh game of the Eastern Conference finals. But, unlike that one, most are completely unrealistic.<br />
<br />
It could be that this new dream activity is related to the new herbal extract pills that I'm taking in an attempt to do something about those migraine headaches I <a href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-brain-on-drugs-or-seven-sequential.html">wrote about a few weeks ago</a>. I haven't read the little pamphlet that comes with the supplement to try to figure out what the possible side effects are, but I did look it up on Wikipedia, which is usually a pretty trustworthy source for Medical Information You Can Trust, and there was no mention of side effects, so I'm sure I'm in the clear.<br />
<br />
Anyway, last night's dream was another winner.<br />
<br />
For some reason, <a href="http://content.answcdn.com/main/content/img/getty/9/2/79712392.jpg">Juliette Binoche</a>, the lovely French actress, was on the Late Show, <a href="http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Phoenix-Letterman-Video-22-9-10-kc.jpg">sitting in the chair next to David Letterman</a>. Like any good guest, she had a story to share with the TV viewing audience.<br />
<br />
"We were driving through <a href="http://www.europeetravel.com/images/maps/europe-political-large.gif">Europe</a> in a <a href="http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2009/09/08/11/09/1979_ford_fiesta-pic-8699712704554326350.jpeg">Ford Fiesta</a>," she began, before a man in the studio audience interrupted.<br />
<br />
"That's like a <a href="http://www.worldinterestingfacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/worst-car-of-all-time-Yugo.jpg">Yugo</a>!" the dream audience member shouted.<br />
<br />
Juliette-in-my-dream, who I have never known to lose her temper, was not pleased.<br />
<br />
"That's it. Fuck you all," she said. And she <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v--BAKo4gjM">stormed off the set</a>.<br />
<br />
Anyone want to interpret that one?Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-86976628181740087582011-01-14T10:59:00.000-08:002011-01-14T10:59:43.868-08:00My brain on drugs; Or, Seven sequential thoughts on a migraine treatment1) I get migraine headaches four or five times a month.*<br />
<br />
2) As my doctor recently called to tell me, that's far too many, and I should not have migraines so frequently. I'm not sure how that advice is supposed to help me, but I'll give it a few weeks.<br />
<br />
3) A few months ago, my thoughtful and amazing wife - who frequently researches potential cures and treatments for migraines - mentioned that she had read an article about Botox being used to prevent migraines.<br />
<br />
4) Although I was very appreciative that she had discovered this news, I thought using Botox as a remedy sounded somewhat silly, considering that I didn't need to eliminate crow's feet or frown lines in my brain.<br />
<br />
5) I hate injections. I'm sure you don't like them either, but however much you hate them, I hate them more.<br />
<br />
6) While poking around online today, I came across an item about the Botox migraine treatment.<br />
<br />
7) After reading this article, I was reassured that I have made the right decision in not pursuing Botox as a treatment for my migraine headaches. Mainly because one of the common side effects is, um, headaches.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>[Click to enlarge]</em></td></tr>
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<em>* Sometimes more. But I don't want it to look like I'm begging for sympathy. Or pills.</em>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-73060463322841763962011-01-13T11:33:00.000-08:002011-01-13T11:58:18.584-08:00So, why would CNN even bother covering this?Just when I thought there was no reason to blog this month, I came across this "news" on CNN.com, the website I love to despise.<br /><br />Apparently, Peter Fonda - notable in my world mostly for inspiring the Beatles song "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She_Said_She_Said">She Said She Said</a>" - found a dead man in a car on the side of the road. OK, cool enough. I'm with you so far, CNN.<br /><br />What really ticks me off about <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/01/13/peter.fonda.discovery/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn">the article</a> is probably as much a reflection of America's general celebrity-obsessed insanity as it is about CNN's general journalistic inanity*. But I couldn't get over the last sentence of the story, which read, and I am not making this up:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgtwXbJY7672UCk_dtqxHc3NOCwT42IkzwNdHxtPT6x5UDpYyFIC9Qs6BK5cBqebsp4zzeB36_Lkit1mxQvbrOb_UI6oh5GTkkxX4GpGjzTTcLXeAPkGw9VP3AfRKUHY_G8HfiMJyihk/s1600/Not+a+celebrity.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 56px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561758965814569394" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivgtwXbJY7672UCk_dtqxHc3NOCwT42IkzwNdHxtPT6x5UDpYyFIC9Qs6BK5cBqebsp4zzeB36_Lkit1mxQvbrOb_UI6oh5GTkkxX4GpGjzTTcLXeAPkGw9VP3AfRKUHY_G8HfiMJyihk/s400/Not+a+celebrity.JPG" /></a><br />Poor guy. To be found dead in your car is one thing. But (gasp) it's even worse: He's never been on TMZ**!<br /><br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">* This might not be a word, but I couldn't think of another appropriate synonym for incompetence that rhymed with "insanity."</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">** Well, he hadn't been. <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2011/01/12/peter-fonda-dead-body-driving-crime-scene-car-pacific-palisades/">Until now</a>.</span></em>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-27447364265138890302010-12-11T20:23:00.000-08:002010-12-11T20:34:58.739-08:00Scene in Noo YorcWe were in the Big Apple last weekend.<br /><br />I wonder whether the natives will eventually learn how to spell the name of that big expanse of recreational space that separates the east side from the west side north of 59th Street.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9sw06RV46xhpdxJNUbvfmh4rOevo1dhvM-do9K2QpgsEY0lWUbramn1qZsO6JztsdoV9Tla1XoA6wZuHwgyhDe59vrkl4moFhv-4QDBmBMOm6mPu9W983Wft1Haxa-ICA_GnR3nLt6N4/s1600/P1020363.JPG"><img border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9sw06RV46xhpdxJNUbvfmh4rOevo1dhvM-do9K2QpgsEY0lWUbramn1qZsO6JztsdoV9Tla1XoA6wZuHwgyhDe59vrkl4moFhv-4QDBmBMOm6mPu9W983Wft1Haxa-ICA_GnR3nLt6N4/s320/P1020363.JPG" /></a><br /><div><div style="CLEAR: both"></div><br /><div style="CLEAR: both"></div><div style="CLEAR: both"></div><div style="CLEAR: both">On the other hand, you have to admire their tasteful and sophisticated sense of humor when it comes to altering the instructions posted on hotel elevators.</div><br /><div style="CLEAR: both"></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv5BdzM95edfRVKTM0-JkLpXoyl-1AIIwbJLKgvLsGEbjeb4fIyiJgaaHEr_t-rfTqiRl9wp9vWHfqRtymT-F9p0mTZxo65M5PC0qzqGxBjAM3F7fjZhQrnKFxncmC3E7GtYYryWcpZfU/s1600/P1020206.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 300px; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549649270961807026" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv5BdzM95edfRVKTM0-JkLpXoyl-1AIIwbJLKgvLsGEbjeb4fIyiJgaaHEr_t-rfTqiRl9wp9vWHfqRtymT-F9p0mTZxo65M5PC0qzqGxBjAM3F7fjZhQrnKFxncmC3E7GtYYryWcpZfU/s400/P1020206.JPG" /></a><br /><div style="CLEAR: both"></div><br /><div style="CLEAR: both"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BACKGROUND: 0% 50%; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial" border="0" alt="Posted by Picasa" align="middle" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" /></a></div></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-61239433646971439252010-10-19T14:50:00.000-07:002010-10-19T15:34:17.652-07:00Either CNN or Adrien Brody's attorney sucks at mathThe only "D" I got in high school was for 12th grade calculus*.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Even today, I don't think the poor mark was because I was bad at calculus - which I'm sure I would have been - it was just that I literally slept through almost every class. But I had a good reason: At the beginning of my senior year, I knew that I was just months away from starting college, and I knew that college students often stay up until very late at night, and I reasoned that I should start, well, <em>training </em>for that particular aspect of college. Yes, I would train my body for those crazy late nights of college that were sure to come by just... staying awake until 1:30 or 2 a.m., as often as possible.</div><div></div><br /><div>So every Monday through Thursday night, after I had finished practicing the violin and doing my homework (except for my calculus homework, of course), I'd watch the 11 o'clock news, and then the Tonight Show (this was in the pre-Leno days, when it wasn't awful), and then watch reruns of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTg8bNIEOnw">Benson</a> and/or Cheers followed by as much as possible of the Letterman show. (Unlike other, normal cities, Baltimore in the 80s apparently couldn't handle going right from the Tonight Show to Letterman.) </div><br /><div></div><div>That meant I was getting somewhere around four hours of sleep every weeknight. The remedy: A 48-minute power nap during calculus. The result: My beloved "D."</div><br /><div></div><div>All of which is to say that I'm puzzled about the math in this hard-hitting CNN.com article.</div><br /><div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhitS2GJhZpJQyY7zUWJCtkLQPNH4LsbE90CyWuITO5OPPAGlvs4S37JP6WGxlg1Uh58oCAdjz4lhnTzICCrOiV22Aj0v3dPeW3ETBzf4dAFd2gwQwyB9KgNdDQEAO7iY1J__Rpv-o6gZI/s1600/Brody+math.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 335px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5529885841247359618" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhitS2GJhZpJQyY7zUWJCtkLQPNH4LsbE90CyWuITO5OPPAGlvs4S37JP6WGxlg1Uh58oCAdjz4lhnTzICCrOiV22Aj0v3dPeW3ETBzf4dAFd2gwQwyB9KgNdDQEAO7iY1J__Rpv-o6gZI/s400/Brody+math.JPG" /></a><br /><div></div><div>The piece explains that actor Adrien Brody was to be paid $1.5 million for starring in a movie that nobody will ever see. It says that he has been paid $960,000 so far (which sounds pretty decent for a direct-to-DVD flick) and that Mr. Brody is still owed $640,000, which would seem to total up to $1.6 million - not $1.5 million. At least I think that's right - maybe there's some weird rule about adding dollar figures that I missed in calculus.</div><div></div><br /><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">* Actually, it's possible I got a D in trigonometry, too. But there's no idiotic story behind that one.</span></em></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-29550090370340016832010-10-15T09:26:00.000-07:002010-10-15T09:49:20.867-07:00Just plane dumbI can finally sleep at night, knowing that the United-Continental merger is done.<br /><div><br />Except that - even though I don't care very much about either company - I just don't get the decision to keep the United name but drop the well-known United "U" logo in favor of the Continental typeface and the incredibly bland Continental globe icon, which could easily be the logo for just about any company in the world. </div><br /><div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1BuF9n3XlasU7BhbOF1EaFk3QALqFksyIKb-zkGP-X5PCk3WtVhkusTgEKmFtWKleL9BJY7Ifo5L-qCYUYDSKR_0-PNut0AoPgNIjDzMX5C8-PUgPF9CB-BEE-uSKorMNJ8zKYwu-qhI/s1600/United+logo.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; HEIGHT: 95px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528315582783821138" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1BuF9n3XlasU7BhbOF1EaFk3QALqFksyIKb-zkGP-X5PCk3WtVhkusTgEKmFtWKleL9BJY7Ifo5L-qCYUYDSKR_0-PNut0AoPgNIjDzMX5C8-PUgPF9CB-BEE-uSKorMNJ8zKYwu-qhI/s320/United+logo.JPG" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><div>I guess United and Continental leadership both needed to save face, but in doing so, I have to imagine they cost themselves an immeasurable amount of brand equity. I hope everyone at what used to be Continental is totally stoked by their big win - getting the signature typeface and unremarkable logo of a now-nonexistent company to survive. Nice going.</div><br /><div></div><div>Oh, also, I appreciate the airline's assurance that the integration - matching up all of that frequent flier data, route codes, in-flight snack offerings, etc. - will go smoothly. Except that it seems they haven't quite figured out how to code an email yet. To wit:</div><div></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU_fvOE6_wTujMmVtmIubuUvmeejuqr23Z4jUDux_PlraeveFB1t02ATH_sKQ7iNMShp7ctqW78VE_Jn3br8EL_77S3PV5mJXkBVMQoJl5arxUDwndTYWUHPnLnYFox3Dxtabrs9GdEfs/s1600/Continental+email.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 310px; HEIGHT: 176px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528311045805459202" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU_fvOE6_wTujMmVtmIubuUvmeejuqr23Z4jUDux_PlraeveFB1t02ATH_sKQ7iNMShp7ctqW78VE_Jn3br8EL_77S3PV5mJXkBVMQoJl5arxUDwndTYWUHPnLnYFox3Dxtabrs9GdEfs/s400/Continental+email.jpg" /></a> </div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-79124092787979072010-07-21T09:14:00.000-07:002010-07-21T09:39:11.069-07:00I shot a bird... and a flower... with my camera.<div><br /></div><div>My ability to write anything remotely interesting has obviously deserted me for the summer. But given the proverbial worth of a picture, I believe these two photos would add up to approximately 2,000 words worth of new material. Which isn't too shabby.</div><div><br /></div><div>I took them last weekend during a quick anniversary-celebration escape with the world's most superbly awesome wife, in Ojai, California. (Have you ever had a one-day/one-night mini-vacation that was so fun and relexing that when you got home you felt like you'd been on an actual vacation? This was one of those.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Cue the images:</div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOEVOOnxYwja8gkKJupXCKTaanRpOU2ThvOrPNdgVZBMFeSOrciccRpPI4QbHxOK8o2sZsWuBKMHMGFjyHaa7gURreUcwH66_hVLMvVG_N8FXrLvubU1bNfqO2RR1uXHFK5JyqXyxhB4Q/s320/Ojai+hummingbird.JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 228px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496399475472754178" /></div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_ciNznRzP7BpTzGHAMJxVlYAklbrt1vqyJ-NDsuEwhUdoZk6CqPlKprJArq5RepfEag74KSbB3A1Z-eyRvBnssBB88lLAdswt3CuuZkYHSP787ffwEq9jnDZLOhnwlMSj6wpXlZDtATg/s320/Ojai+flower.JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496399480617003538" /></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-17095065873987710602010-06-22T10:40:00.000-07:002010-06-22T10:48:17.833-07:00No-kill overkill<b>“I want to plead guilty, and I’m going to plead guilty 100 times over."<br /></b><i> - Times Square bombing failure Faisal Shahzad<br /> in Federal District Court (Reported in </i><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/22/nyregion/22terror.html?th&emc=th"><i>The New York Times</i></a><i>)<br /></i><br />No, that's OK. I think once is enough.Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-89133535403582737732010-06-16T16:42:00.000-07:002010-06-16T17:16:41.392-07:00Great moments in non sequiturs, Part 1I'm hoping that you've noticed that SFTC has been on the downlow for the past few weeks.<div><br /></div><div>I apologize for the lack of hilarious anecdotes and wry observations. Although, in fairness, none of you wrote in to ask if I was OK. If I were you, I'd have been worried about this sudden and unexpected online silence. "Oh no!" I might have thought to myself. "SFTC might have had his hands cut off by a combine in a tragic farming accident."<div><br /></div><div>But I (overly dramatically) digress.</div><div><br /></div><div>The real reasons for the hiatus were that I was unusually busy with my other kind of writing - the kind I get paid for - and that I promised that I wouldn't post again until I came up with a monumental blog post, a captivating story truly worthy of my triumphant return to blogging.</div><div><br />I have since reconsidered on that second point, in favor of "whatever the heck I could think of on Wednesday." So here it is:</div><div><br /></div><div>My aunt is the queen of non sequiturs. Conversations often take odd left turns, making it an adventure to keep up. Emails often contain random mixtures of topics, often completely out of context. Like the one she sent last night. </div><div><br /></div><div>It read: <i>"Did u know Paula Abdul </i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Abdul"><i>is Jewish</i></a><i>? Guess where I am? xxoo "</i></div><div><br /></div><div>I wrote back: <i>"I didn't know that about Paula. I also don't know where you are, but given the setup, I'm guessing Paula Abdul's bat mitzvah."</i></div><div><br /></div><div>It turned out she was just in Baltimore. But I was pretty close.</div></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-33604355823212708062010-05-25T22:08:00.000-07:002010-05-26T23:26:51.727-07:00The National Gallery, Volume 2About nine months ago*, I wowed and amazed you** with a <a href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2009/09/national-gallery.html">photo-and-video scrapbook</a> of my visit to Los Angeles' famed Wiltern for a rockin' good concert by The National. Saturday night, I returned for the first time since then. For a concert. A concert by The National. I'm nothing if not creative.<br /><br />Further evidence of that creativity? Today's post will be a photo-and-video scrapbook of Saturday evening.<br /><br />I haven't been to a whole lot of music venues in L.A. yet, but I've decided that the Wiltern is one of the best in town, thanks in part to its kick-ass marquee, which on Saturday, looked a lot like this:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh6pRdAMZIYB0-_PnfVBRJJ06Ymv0YIF5yCFrvYtXBynq3cjJtYTHdApTiUqF1SjQTqs88GOblMRpGf80bVa-ejhY6zVvdGNHn5lIl67u0g29aIVLUHkbvFN2_k0DffGmACMziWHn_ry0/s1600/P1000871.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh6pRdAMZIYB0-_PnfVBRJJ06Ymv0YIF5yCFrvYtXBynq3cjJtYTHdApTiUqF1SjQTqs88GOblMRpGf80bVa-ejhY6zVvdGNHn5lIl67u0g29aIVLUHkbvFN2_k0DffGmACMziWHn_ry0/s320/P1000871.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475450128460221522" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Another thing I love about the theater is that the name is an amalgamation of WILshire Boulevard and WesTERN Avenue, which intersect near its entrance. The name would have been even catchier if the theater had been built where Jackson Street runs into Kass Avenue, but, sadly, whoever was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pellissier_Building_and_Wiltern_Theatre">building art deco theaters in L.A. in the early 1930s</a> missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. (Also, there's no Kass Avenue in Los Angeles, but whatever.)<br /><br />The National mixed in several songs from its newest album, High Violet, including <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfySK7CLEEg">Bloodbuzz Ohio</a>, which I especially like, and Conversation 16, which is a favorite of my exceptionally gorgeous wife.<br /><br />Among its other wonderful qualities, Conversation 16 includes this rather snappy lyric:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I was afraid I'd eat your brains </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br />I was afraid I'd eat your brains</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br />Cause I'm evil<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Cause I'm evil</span><br /><br />And one of the highlights of the concert was hearing lead singer Matt Berninger explain the deeper meaning behind those words. "That song," he said, "is a metaphor for this one time that I ate a girl's brains while she was sleeping."<br /><br />We in the audience assumed he was kidding, of course, and we got a good chuckle out of that metaphor.***<br /><br />Another cool part of the night was meeting - in person! - my online friend Violette, a music connoisseur with whom I've been exchanging tweets since that first National concert last August. Violette has a <a href="http://makemusicnotbabies.com/">great (and recently redesigned) music blog</a>, which you should check out, so long as you finish reading this post first.<br /><br />OK, enough with the words. How 'bout a few of my very favorite photos I took Saturday night, and a couple of videos that I might or might not have shot with my digital camera, depending on whether I needed the band's express written consent to videotape anything ...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The stills</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJ1WUmp7s1lIHuXW_kr9b7N22EPKmvcmPECzGr-hDvi7T2jXFATFDJKDcrLzMm0LJJLkAlqvRKOeT0AyWm5pVeqFqviygtAECyoR6q3B_VAIpp5Gwk0K1QoQaSJnSH64asD4sZP1MGRU/s1600/Copy+of+P1000883.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJ1WUmp7s1lIHuXW_kr9b7N22EPKmvcmPECzGr-hDvi7T2jXFATFDJKDcrLzMm0LJJLkAlqvRKOeT0AyWm5pVeqFqviygtAECyoR6q3B_VAIpp5Gwk0K1QoQaSJnSH64asD4sZP1MGRU/s320/Copy+of+P1000883.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475465926779522866" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">If you were in a band, you'd put this on an album cover, right?</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfI4pEvnqmkdC_t21Q4hK_dL9NXQcGpTAUBtXj_A7O5qCKiwIYBdS0ffmYYcPMEo0Yv50pE4jJ7XgtQvq09DbYYsy9_2wm8_ct6XavBoAzPrEaXGm16kFPRlzwYZQ2U5qMUZQ1m33bQ-U/s1600/P1000898.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfI4pEvnqmkdC_t21Q4hK_dL9NXQcGpTAUBtXj_A7O5qCKiwIYBdS0ffmYYcPMEo0Yv50pE4jJ7XgtQvq09DbYYsy9_2wm8_ct6XavBoAzPrEaXGm16kFPRlzwYZQ2U5qMUZQ1m33bQ-U/s320/P1000898.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475832268865239218" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyrpr6pCM4xpFNeLFMR9JsYLc_NtafpVZgt7fNs0fKewOxrAHwmMBGWkgVSkui_S3MrApyt0QvpT-AfAIstmzCVOJJlPwnfzZmvX-38Fwuo3zPTcrL8i6TYkioauDAHLbg3iRymo86PM/s1600/P1000920.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyrpr6pCM4xpFNeLFMR9JsYLc_NtafpVZgt7fNs0fKewOxrAHwmMBGWkgVSkui_S3MrApyt0QvpT-AfAIstmzCVOJJlPwnfzZmvX-38Fwuo3zPTcrL8i6TYkioauDAHLbg3iRymo86PM/s320/P1000920.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475460601977558402" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgBaiRNm-j3fArIe2C-GkDbPQ7frWIQ_qpFWK_f0Uaszp8QqUFH2iC6QnNdwAPykpbhxOawxft1gfcbFGzg0YCek5Z6Lio9KtTdYp4kUmlLL0jvCK4gDjSZbTRiLtqwmaUv7oXF8pyhLs/s1600/P1000958.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgBaiRNm-j3fArIe2C-GkDbPQ7frWIQ_qpFWK_f0Uaszp8QqUFH2iC6QnNdwAPykpbhxOawxft1gfcbFGzg0YCek5Z6Lio9KtTdYp4kUmlLL0jvCK4gDjSZbTRiLtqwmaUv7oXF8pyhLs/s320/P1000958.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475460619649493986" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh35FTEuIRhoh9AIGUrJdQwW0Rx2dNniiI2_rK5w-3MqSwfJ0UC6RG3YkKoEjq2uhB0c_G81sBgOtRlGbd1JhO51-Xf4aZuFlUD8nicFfupChHTjiIHpQ6dCWWDqllu8KUo8wtzoNCzf6E/s1600/P1000923.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh35FTEuIRhoh9AIGUrJdQwW0Rx2dNniiI2_rK5w-3MqSwfJ0UC6RG3YkKoEjq2uhB0c_G81sBgOtRlGbd1JhO51-Xf4aZuFlUD8nicFfupChHTjiIHpQ6dCWWDqllu8KUo8wtzoNCzf6E/s320/P1000923.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475460612947941666" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">My favorite picture I've taken in a really really long time.</span><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Motion & Sound</span><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/48lodPmX_SU&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&hd=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/48lodPmX_SU&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Start A War</span></span><br /><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nV7SjLuh-gY&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&hd=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nV7SjLuh-gY&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Mistaken For Strangers</span><br /></span><br />The band's remaining 2010 tour dates, you ask? <a href="http://www.americanmary.com/tour.php">Right here.</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">* Tip for all of you aspiring writers out there: This strikes me as a potentially dramatic way to start any story not involving the birth of a child.<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">** Well, two or three of you.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">*** For more metaphor-inspired hilarity, please don't hesitate to read two other recent SFTC posts, </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2010/04/messed-metaphors.html">this one</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> and </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2010/04/missed-metaphors-part-2.html">this one</a><span style="font-style: italic;">.</span></span>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-49635256465982486492010-05-06T13:42:00.000-07:002010-05-07T10:05:55.321-07:00SFTC Cribs: Inept bomber editionOnce in a while when I'm scanning the latest headlines on my Google home page, I'll see a link to a seemingly inane "news story" in the CNN.com feed and cringe. And I'll wonder: "What kind of idiots would waste their time reading about this nonsense?"<br /><br />And then, typically, I answer my own question by clicking through to read more.<br /><br />Today, that happened when I came across a Very Important News Article about the "$65,000 home equity piggy bank" belonging to Faisal <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Shahzad</span>, the man being held in connection with the botched attempt to car-bomb Times Square last weekend.<br /><br />I'm not sure why this seemed interesting, except perhaps that I've never seen the inside of an incompetent bomber's home, or maybe I'm the kind of guy who just likes virtual open houses. <a href="http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2010/real_estate/1005/gallery.TimesSquare_suspect_house/index.html">As you can see here</a>, it's all pretty unremarkable. No telltale signs of an "aspiring terrorist bomber," as CNN so eloquently* put it. Not even any photos of <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/arts/television/22arts-MUSLIMGROUPW_BRF.html">Matt Stone and Trey Parker</a>.<br /><br />In fact, what I found most interesting were the cloying little blurbs accompanying the photos, which read as though they were co-written by Captain Obvious and a very dimwitted real estate agent.<br /><br />For example, the master bedroom:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIXj5eQ_F_Vb0YW_hDqIZQ03YuWAvPcqpN2XEoZzyhas30Dk-HrHseksf5GCXyQtprDG6uCF7z5CDFmzC0SemhhwJP1btUOioWSasgClZtY768_c_TYmhUPemT30VDVx35IvETrB4sKBg/s1600/Bombers+house-MBR.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; HEIGHT: 259px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468263077543674450" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIXj5eQ_F_Vb0YW_hDqIZQ03YuWAvPcqpN2XEoZzyhas30Dk-HrHseksf5GCXyQtprDG6uCF7z5CDFmzC0SemhhwJP1btUOioWSasgClZtY768_c_TYmhUPemT30VDVx35IvETrB4sKBg/s320/Bombers+house-MBR.JPG" /></a><br />This<i> </i>is precisely the reason we turn to CNN. For analysis like this: "Green is the theme color in the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Shahzads</span>' bedroom. The curtains pick up the tone of the bed linens, and a bamboo print hung between the windows extends the botanical motif."<br /><br />This is not retouched or edited. Someone really wrote that.<br /><br />Walk with me to the kid's room, won't you?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu2rDgRYmRp9eHYT9GtM5uMlbFLT1BIBO99E7eiDcnMP8VXUUWhhGjINdYUWWpKVxWOA36YUYI3yErocN6BF_co6S-1tuCERjCPVaILK-K89_s6TXFir1XoeUWuH3a_pYsKxfy-aD0agw/s1600/Bombers+house-kids+room.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; HEIGHT: 260px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468263075129667906" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu2rDgRYmRp9eHYT9GtM5uMlbFLT1BIBO99E7eiDcnMP8VXUUWhhGjINdYUWWpKVxWOA36YUYI3yErocN6BF_co6S-1tuCERjCPVaILK-K89_s6TXFir1XoeUWuH3a_pYsKxfy-aD0agw/s320/Bombers+house-kids+room.JPG" /></a><br />The extraordinary analysis only deepens here, where we learn that the child's bedroom "appears to be slightly more cluttered than the rest of the house - a not-uncommon characteristic of a child's room."<br /><br />Penetrating insights from the news organization that is quickly becoming known as the world leader in boudoir-organization reportage.<br /><br />OK, let's go out back:<br /><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTHtCt8qKpi8EFF_pDjaedQqo5P41IvoOto_z7DOYGkYmMKzBPErh40Xe5xwqkohin2iB5gUlwpMqgOu8LVIqgS541aHE0FsgBdg1zBtaOlWNlL0nRMNjnjHZ0SPLOCKzRjA91Hq7EKc/s1600/Bombers+house-deck.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; HEIGHT: 258px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468263064081495330" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTHtCt8qKpi8EFF_pDjaedQqo5P41IvoOto_z7DOYGkYmMKzBPErh40Xe5xwqkohin2iB5gUlwpMqgOu8LVIqgS541aHE0FsgBdg1zBtaOlWNlL0nRMNjnjHZ0SPLOCKzRjA91Hq7EKc/s320/Bombers+house-deck.JPG" /></a><br /><div>In case you can't quite make it out, this is a photo of an empty wooden deck. Which is empty. And has nothing on it. </div><div><br /></div><div>CNN helpfully explains: "There's certainly no evidence that anyone barbecued or lounged on the house's deck; it seems to be entirely empty."<br /><br />Yes, yes it does.</div><div> </div><div></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">*Either eloquently or ridiculously. You decide.</span></em></div></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-8812015684587667042010-05-03T10:24:00.000-07:002010-05-03T17:16:24.243-07:00In which I talk trash (mildly) with Jack WelchHow bad are my beloved Baltimore Orioles this year?<br /><br />I know we're only 25 games into the Major League Baseball season, but the O's have a .280 winning percentage, which is the worst record in the American League, and bad enough that it probably can't reasonably be called a "winning" percentage.<br /><br />To help put that in perspective, the team with the worst record in the National League, the Houston Astros, began the season by losing eight consecutive games (which is a winning percentage of roughly .000) <em>and </em>have now lost their last six games... and they are <em>still </em>doing better than the Orioles.<br /><br />This has made me a little defensive about my Birds.<br /><br />So on Friday, I took umbrage when I saw that <a href="http://www.welchway.com/About-Us/Jack-Welch/Biography.aspx">Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric</a> and (as his website notes) the man Fortune magazine called "Manager of the Century," was using his Twitter account to talk smack about his favorite team's upcoming games:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjAcLE0gUzwz6jXSOglc3OT5sdEIU_NIihsfE7nHjeXnAKajg1irc0wRuOsSJwESurwCVHUiEXvmIKaeP2AmHg7sJziR0h7rWlTbBDWygk35d0qNiOZ6beX6owJ03fRvKFnKLPK32hozw/s1600/Jack+Welch+1.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 130px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467099557148788274" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjAcLE0gUzwz6jXSOglc3OT5sdEIU_NIihsfE7nHjeXnAKajg1irc0wRuOsSJwESurwCVHUiEXvmIKaeP2AmHg7sJziR0h7rWlTbBDWygk35d0qNiOZ6beX6owJ03fRvKFnKLPK32hozw/s200/Jack+Welch+1.JPG" /></a> <p></p><div></div><div>Unfortunately, I was pretty sure he was right: The Red Sox probably would do what they usually do when they come to Baltimore, and beat the tar out of the Orioles. But still, I made a mental note<br /><br />And then, something magical, nay, miraculous happened.<br /><br />Friday, the Orioles won, 5-4.<br /><br />Saturday, they won again, 12-9, for their third win of the season against the Sox and sixth win overall. (Sort of a good news-bad news situation when you're a month into the baseball season and half of your wins have come against the Red Sox.)<br /><br />And then, Sunday, the Birds completed the sweep, winning a 3-2 extra-inning thriller.<br /><br />Which immediately reminded me of Jack Welch's tweet. So just for fun, I got on my BlackBerry and wrote:</div><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFJZUFvBOT9DbayOrkJMOvRIj0rh84-17ZDmg3d5uTa0f2AG0kM9E5y4svIwM6kskRQsBJ9F3YJBRxo11nR9PaT0KZjyEuvZoM9Nxnqr_azECWIAAtDHcGHzlofyTDkt_7dAxnn-cyW-s/s1600/Jack+Welch+3.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 122px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467099576244191330" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFJZUFvBOT9DbayOrkJMOvRIj0rh84-17ZDmg3d5uTa0f2AG0kM9E5y4svIwM6kskRQsBJ9F3YJBRxo11nR9PaT0KZjyEuvZoM9Nxnqr_azECWIAAtDHcGHzlofyTDkt_7dAxnn-cyW-s/s200/Jack+Welch+3.JPG" /></a></div><div></div><div>I normally don't engage in trash-talk with corporate titans, but how often would I get a chance like this? (The last time the Orioles swept the Sox in Baltimore was 1998.) And, to my credit, I thought I showed great restraint in not pointing out that he spelled the word <em>hapless </em>with an extra <em>s</em>. Besides, what are the odds the great Jack Welch would even see my tweet?<br /><br />Pretty good, as it turns out:</div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvH7vQHX6SHUOlvXk0sZFlmdbv3ZzOjnyHFMmrPCe46oNzyei4HFSxYRY7H-ZnC1ikY1qPZQC4Nr0YAIyPOzu0Q7ozZ7h85_voIems6I95tQEpHohLdD-JuTQQeVd5ViKhubg4WuBifdg/s1600/Jack+Welch+2.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 90px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467099569260770786" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvH7vQHX6SHUOlvXk0sZFlmdbv3ZzOjnyHFMmrPCe46oNzyei4HFSxYRY7H-ZnC1ikY1qPZQC4Nr0YAIyPOzu0Q7ozZ7h85_voIems6I95tQEpHohLdD-JuTQQeVd5ViKhubg4WuBifdg/s200/Jack+Welch+2.JPG" /></a></div><div></div><div></div><div>Thank you, Mr. Welch. And, may I just say, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8BMYo3Z7mc">Orioles Magic! Feel it happen.</a></div>Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-71841972162534869532010-04-25T22:09:00.000-07:002010-04-25T22:47:57.850-07:00Missed metaphors, part 2(If you missed SFTC's groundbreaking Missed Metaphors, part 1, feel free to either scroll down a bit or <a href="http://sorryfortheconvenience.blogspot.com/2010/04/messed-metaphors.html">click here</a>.)<br /><br />I realize that because of the iPad and Kindle - and, frankly, because we as a society just <a href="http://www.facebook.com/sarahpalin">keep getting stupider</a> - the good old hardback book is quickly becoming obsolete. Which probably means that book-inspired metaphors are also becoming more and more archaic. Soon, I would venture to guess, the very concepts of "judging a book by its cover" or "throwing the book at someone" will be nearly meaningless.<br /><br />I think that explains why the good folks who edit Associated Press sports articles failed to catch a botched attempt at turning such a phrase. Trying to explain that the UCLA gymnastics team's two most recent championships occurred immediately before and after a string of five straight championships by the University of Georgia, an AP writer offered:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">The Bruins won the title for the first time since 2004, <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">bookmarking </span>the Gym Dogs' five-year run.<br /></span></blockquote><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1BqRzCalFl92Xhy0k57jVV3cSlJ86wWnYY4uMsTD6qtQyYlGyMJONgMY_2V6yaDe22TknYxBpduUjAgYXxHtnKCp-cpXUPKqmrlBejCFpGbyanAM5cOwVzVyRXKLAkfaMr7rw91wIRp8/s1600/Bookmarked-marked.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 146px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1BqRzCalFl92Xhy0k57jVV3cSlJ86wWnYY4uMsTD6qtQyYlGyMJONgMY_2V6yaDe22TknYxBpduUjAgYXxHtnKCp-cpXUPKqmrlBejCFpGbyanAM5cOwVzVyRXKLAkfaMr7rw91wIRp8/s200/Bookmarked-marked.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464317809826157010" border="0" /></a><br />I don't read a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure a bookmark is something you stick in the <span style="font-style: italic;">middle </span>of a book, not on either side of one. It would have been nice for the editor to realize that UCLA's 2004 and '10 victories <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">bookended </span></span>the Georgia wins.<br /><br />This sentence also reminds me of one of the main reasons I never tried out for Georgia gymnastics: the name Gym Dogs.Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5874347988867928461.post-14171810457945931812010-04-22T12:46:00.000-07:002010-04-22T13:37:46.810-07:00Missed metaphorsRod Blagojevich kicks ass at several things - selling Senate seats to the highest bidder, styling his hair, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-M06hZJXkc">assessing and then reassessing his place on the racial continuum</a> and getting booted off of Donald Trump TV shows among them.<br /><br />But one thing at which he does not kick ass is understanding the meaning of common metaphors. Consider, for example, his explanation in <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/04/22/blagojevich.obama/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn">this CNN.com piece</a> of what he thinks will prove to be "the smoking gun" in his corruption trial:<br /><br /><em>During his news conference Tuesday, Blagojevich repeated that he was innocent and that the tapes of his conversations would prove it. "It is because there is a smoking gun in those tapes, and the smoking gun is that the government is covering up the big lie Mr. Fitzgerald gave to the world when he had me arrested," Blagojevich said.</em><br /><br />It's clear that while a former governor awaits his fate, logical rhetoric is also on trial.Your escalator operatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12670322465530328359noreply@blogger.com1