June 24, 2009

And one to go

In my first real job, one of my responsibilities was to call staff at sports teams all over the country to find out what their latest marketing plans were. If that doesn't sound like fun to you, don't worry: There were a few perks.

One of those perks was that after I had worked at that company for a year, the owner installed a heater in the bathroom, a long overdue upgrade because (1) our office bathroom was one metal door away from being outside, and (2) our office bathroom was located in Chicago, which, as you might have heard, gets a little chilly for five or six months out of the year.

Another perk was that some of the calls I made were to area code 803. That was especially nice whenever the recipient of my call was a woman, because I tended to think that South Carolina women have a great accent - somehow, noticeably better than that of their counterparts in both North Carolina and Georgia.

Apparently, however, South Carolina's governor doesn't find that accent quite as mellifluous as I used to, because Mark Sanford went south - way south - to hook up with a woman not named Mrs. Sanford.

As you've probably read by now, not only did the ex-rising-star Republican publicly admit today to having an affair - "extra-marital," the New York Times article helpfully points out - but he flew to Argentina to do it. That's first class.

Then he admitted to being AWOL with her in Argentina the last week, while his staff told people he was "hiking on the Appalachian Trail." Maybe they just meant that as a euphemism. Well, what the affair lacked in convenience, it did make up for in creativity, I guess.

I find this news especially exciting, because of that old rule of thumb about politicians' career-ending extra-marital affair admissions coming in threes. (That might not be the exact rule of thumb, but it's close.) Arizona's John Ensign - who must be breathing a sigh of extra-marital relief right now - was last week, now Sanford, and I'm thinking we'll have ourselves another before too long. When we do - as Sanford himself might put it - y'all come back now, hear?

6 comments:

bugs said...

it's just not news anymore. really.
everyone's doin' it!

ZenMom said...

I'm left with one burning question: How does one conduct an affair - extra-marital or otherwise - between South Carolina and Argentina for - two years?!

Seriously. How did they meet? How did they see each other? Did the Right Honorable Governor of South Carolina use his state expense account to rack up the frequent flyer miles to Buenos Aires? Or were there just a lot of late night "conference calls"?

And if he's managed to keep this cross-continental cuckolding clandestine for two years, why did he slip up now?

Enquiring minds want to know!

Meh. Whatever. I'm over it already.

Apparently, my curiosity has the shelf life of an empanada.

All I really care about is that my new favorite euphemism for s-e-x is now "hiking the Appalachian trail". So, thanks for that. :)

Your escalator operator said...

B - True, but I need something to write about.

ZM - I'm with you on the logistical challenges involved, as well as on the euphemism. "Hiking the Appalachian Trail" needs to hit the big time.

JBhumitra said...

i think "hiking the appalachian trail" might call for a new t-shirt design...

bugs said...

yea!!! new tee!!! love it! send me one!

Your escalator operator said...

JB - Thanks for the great idea. If I can find time this weekend, think I might do that.

B - I'll talk to the owner of S and J Market and see what I can do.