September 12, 2008

Don't forget "stupid." And "slovenly"

Moments after I posted this quickie mentioning that the U.S. just might be turning into the not-so-far-fetched dystopia depicted in a Mike Judge movie, I cracked open my email and found further support for that observation, courtesy of this ad from those smarty-smartpants folks who sell Fiji water.





Back in the good old days - like, last year, I think - companies used to try getting us to buy stuff by appealing to our aspirations, our best qualities. Or by having Kate Walsh do this.

But now, seizing the obvious trend, they're going for the jughead-ular (I can't tell - does that make any sense?), and appealing to our baser instincts.

"Just admit it," Fiji is telling us, "You're too mired in mediocrity to get off your fat ass, go buy bottled water from the store and then carry it into your home, the way our ancestors did. Stop wasting all of that energy and let us ship it - this is water, mind you - let us ship it to you, anywhere in the U.S. Oh, and this is after we ship water to our shores from Fiji. How does your carbon footprint taste now?"

SFTC CONTEST ALERT! Hmmm... I wonder what products they'll market next by appealing to our laziness and/or stupidity. I'm offering an iTunes song to the person who comments with the best suggestion and an accompanying tagline.

8 comments:

JBhumitra said...

im too lazy to participate in your contest. maybe if i were refreshed by some fiji water i could participate.

bugs said...

market an automatic arm-hand that can open the frig door, pour the overpriced water into a glass, and bring it to the fat ass in question which is still sitting on the sofa watching the add for the fiji water.
HOW'S THAT JACK?!!

bugs said...

I WIN. I WIN. I WIN.

bugs said...

(i am surprised you didnt' comment on the typo! i meant FAT ASS WATCHING THE AD (not ADD) for the silly water)
really, though, it's an awful ad & an awful commentary on who they are trying to sell this water to.

bugs said...

ok - i've been patient. i totally win now.

Your escalator operator said...

Alright. In a bracing reminder that you really do have to play to win, BUGS earns herself a free song on iTunes. (This would be in addition to the 19 free songs I put on her mix CDs every few months, I guess.)
Your idea of an automatic arm-hand that does lots of stuff (I think it's called a robot in real life) earns you the big prize!
So congratulations, Bugs! Name your tune, as it were, and I'll get it to you.
And thanks for reading!

bugs said...

yay baby. my pleasure for reading. yes, it's a robot, but just the arm, so would it still be a robot, jack?!
no need to pick a song...i just wanted to win something in my lifetime & THIS IS MY BIG WIN!

bugs said...

yay baby. my pleasure for reading. yes, it's a robot, but just the arm, so would it still be a robot, jack?!
no need to pick a song...i just wanted to win something in my lifetime & THIS IS MY BIG WIN!