February 13, 2008

Small mess with Texas, or the Lone Nut State

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a million times: Small-town Texas mayor agrees to take care of her neighbors' dog for a few days, tells them dog's dead, changes dog's name and sends dog to live at her twin sister's ranch before being charged with tampering with evidence and fabricating a police report. (If only they could charge people with "being a raging moron," life would be so much better.)

The best part of the story? The small-town Texas mayor -- now ex-mayor -- has a lawyer who was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the very subtle message, "No Cupable." That's Spanish for not guilty, for those of you who live outside of Los Angeles.

Good thing the attorney picked that shirt out of his drawer instead of the one that was underneath it, which read, "Mi cliente está loco."

Here's some free advice you can file away for the next time you call your lawyer: If your legal counsel is professing your innocence via imprinted sportswear, it might be time to get new legal counsel.

Kudos to the Times for letting its writers get a little funky, though. Referring to the dog, whose name had been changed during this caper, the reporter observed: "Puddles/Panchito had no comment. But he sniffed around Mr. Canales’s desk and lifted a leg." And beneath a photo of the wacko mayor holding her pilfered puppy, this gem of a caption: "Grace Saenz-Lopez, ex-mayor, and Panchito, ex-Puddles. "

So, Stark, now aren't you sorry you left the Lone Star State?


Loree said...

Oh my god, I'm so glad I'm out of that place. For reals.

bugs said...

so hilarious. i kind of missed that story. it must not have been repeated 500000 times on CNN like all the other stories.

JBhumitra said...

this is one of my favorite posts of all time, for a variety of reasons: the blog's opening line (LOL), the no cupable shirt, the dog's name change to panchito. the whole dog napping was so ludricious. as if there is a shortage of homeless dogs! they could have found one running around on the freeway.