I have a new second-favorite blog. My favorite, of course, is World's Best Burger, although sadly, the chefs have been on blogcation the last few months. As if going to law school and getting married are more important than weighing in on Mitt Romney and bubble gum TV shows. Psh.
Anyway, my new No. 2 is After Deadline, a New York Times blog that goes deep, deep, deep into grammar and usage. Favorite part is the comments from readers who try to second-guess the editor.
Want a full-on discussion of who vs. whom, or curious about the proper use of the phrase "begs the question?" (On the latter, I'd wager a buck that you've been using it wrong.) If so, After Deadline is your destination.
Best I can tell, the blog has yet to cover whether it's OK to end a sentence with "also, too."
TASTEBUDS HELD HOSTAGE UPDATE: It has now been nine painful days since I've savored the flavor of a creamy-and-sweet-and-just-slightly-spicy chai latte. It was all I could do not to look as I drove by my Starbucks this morning. Don't worry; I'm sure I'll be OK.
October 7, 2008
October 4, 2008
Great moments in customer service: Citi edition
Dear Citibank:
I know you're super-busy this month, what with taking over all of those failing banks and all. But is this really how it's going to work for your preferred customers?
We pick up the action Saturday afternoon. Your Escalator Operator checks out his bank balances online. Something is amiss. He picks up his Sprint phone and calls the local Citibank branch. The lights dim. (Just kidding.)
Me: Hi. I was just in your branch an hour ago, and Chris transferred everything from my savings account to a new higher-interest account. Now I'm looking at my accounts online and it looks like the old account is overdrawn by about $42.
Citi: [Silence]
Me: Is that something you can check?
Citi: Yes, one moment.
[30 seconds later] Sorry, our computers are a little slow today.*
[30 seconds later] I see what you're referring to. Well, it's too soon to tell you anything about that. We won't know until Tuesday.
Me: OK, well could you or Chris call me on Tuesday to let me know what's going on?
Citi: It would actually be better if you called us.
Me: What? Really? I think it would be better if you called me.
Citi: Well, we don't want you to be disappointed if we forget to call you. We get very busy.
Me: Yes, so do I.
Citi: So we'll hear from you on Tuesday?
Me: Yeah, I'll get right on that, turdface.**
Couldn't you at least make up a reason that your customer service folks can't call customers back? Tell me the branch phones can't make outgoing phone calls on weekdays or something. But having bankers tell your customers that they're too busy or might forget to - I think I have this right - do their jobs? I think that might be the wrong way to go.
Nice work.
Feeling very preferred,
SFTC
* It's 2008. I'm guessing you're not using dial-up at Citibank. This is no longer a valid excuse for anything.
** Or else, I just said "Sure" and hung up as she was finishing her "Thank you for calling Citibank" BS. I don't like to upset people who handle my food or people who have access to my bank accounts.
I know you're super-busy this month, what with taking over all of those failing banks and all. But is this really how it's going to work for your preferred customers?
We pick up the action Saturday afternoon. Your Escalator Operator checks out his bank balances online. Something is amiss. He picks up his Sprint phone and calls the local Citibank branch. The lights dim. (Just kidding.)
Me: Hi. I was just in your branch an hour ago, and Chris transferred everything from my savings account to a new higher-interest account. Now I'm looking at my accounts online and it looks like the old account is overdrawn by about $42.
Citi: [Silence]
Me: Is that something you can check?
Citi: Yes, one moment.
[30 seconds later] Sorry, our computers are a little slow today.*
[30 seconds later] I see what you're referring to. Well, it's too soon to tell you anything about that. We won't know until Tuesday.
Me: OK, well could you or Chris call me on Tuesday to let me know what's going on?
Citi: It would actually be better if you called us.
Me: What? Really? I think it would be better if you called me.
Citi: Well, we don't want you to be disappointed if we forget to call you. We get very busy.
Me: Yes, so do I.
Citi: So we'll hear from you on Tuesday?
Me: Yeah, I'll get right on that, turdface.**
Couldn't you at least make up a reason that your customer service folks can't call customers back? Tell me the branch phones can't make outgoing phone calls on weekdays or something. But having bankers tell your customers that they're too busy or might forget to - I think I have this right - do their jobs? I think that might be the wrong way to go.
Nice work.
Feeling very preferred,
SFTC
* It's 2008. I'm guessing you're not using dial-up at Citibank. This is no longer a valid excuse for anything.
** Or else, I just said "Sure" and hung up as she was finishing her "Thank you for calling Citibank" BS. I don't like to upset people who handle my food or people who have access to my bank accounts.
Debate 3
As a rule, I'm not doing posts that merely send you to other blogs. But I'm making an exception in this case because I make the rules here, punk.
Do yourself a favor and check out Ph33r and Loathing's Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart. (The graphic is at the bottom of his Oct. 2 "Moosehunter" post.) It's a little slice of brilliance. Big thanks to GlutenGirl in the D.C. for sending it to me.
Seriously, go look at it. Why? Because she can't name a newspaper or magazine. That's why. (Just in case the flow chart is unclear, here's a full-size version.)
OK, I'm done with posts related to the VP debate. For today, anyway.
Do yourself a favor and check out Ph33r and Loathing's Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart. (The graphic is at the bottom of his Oct. 2 "Moosehunter" post.) It's a little slice of brilliance. Big thanks to GlutenGirl in the D.C. for sending it to me.
Seriously, go look at it. Why? Because she can't name a newspaper or magazine. That's why. (Just in case the flow chart is unclear, here's a full-size version.)
OK, I'm done with posts related to the VP debate. For today, anyway.
October 3, 2008
Debate 2
I feel bad writing this because I don't want to offend the good men and women who provide in-flight service on our nation's passenger planes.
But while watching Ms. Palin last night, I kept thinking that flight attendant would be a good next job for her.
Also, anyone else enjoy hearing her relay that McCain's world view "says that America is a nation of exceptionalism"? Really, exceptionalism? Well, I guess that was better than her "shout-out" to Gladys Wood Elementary School, establishing a new high watermark for the use of hip street lingo during a nationally televised political debate. (Full transcript here.) Oh, Dan Quayle, how I miss your command of the English language.
But while watching Ms. Palin last night, I kept thinking that flight attendant would be a good next job for her.
Also, anyone else enjoy hearing her relay that McCain's world view "says that America is a nation of exceptionalism"? Really, exceptionalism? Well, I guess that was better than her "shout-out" to Gladys Wood Elementary School, establishing a new high watermark for the use of hip street lingo during a nationally televised political debate. (Full transcript here.) Oh, Dan Quayle, how I miss your command of the English language.
Debate
Let's just say, hypothetically, that I had spent 90 minutes last night on national TV doing nothing but pounding Jager shots, while someone sitting next to me drank two glasses of water and ate a vanilla wafer.
Could you blame me if I went back on national TV this morning and announced: Wow, that other guy? He really has a drinking problem!
Isn't this - the headline especially - sort of the same thing?
Could you blame me if I went back on national TV this morning and announced: Wow, that other guy? He really has a drinking problem!
Isn't this - the headline especially - sort of the same thing?
October 2, 2008
Taking us for a ride
I know we're plunging into the worst economic blah blah blah and the Palin-Biden throwdown is tonight and the Dodgers beat the Cubs in game of the NLDS yesterday and they just found Steve Fossett's plane.
All newsworthy, I suppose.
But I think U.S. papers are missing what is clearly - clearly, as my sister likes to say - the biggest story in the world today. And thank goodness The Times of Johannesburg was there to bring it to us. Are you ready?
A lion - a freaking lion - rode a horse.
I know you don't believe me, but here's photographic proof. That's right. Now let that sink in for a second.
This is just more evidence that American papers are controlled by an increasingly out-of-touch liberal elite, bent on keeping these important developments from a public that is hungry for details about vital current events.
Also it points out how incredibly cool (for news geeks, at least) this page of the Newseum's web site is. You can check out today's newspaper front pages from all across the U.S. and 62 countries. So if you're dying to know the top story in Sebring, Fla., or Neptune, N.J. - and why wouldn't you be? - you can have at it, in full living color. Go Newseum! (I added that link to the You Should Also Visit sites over there in the right column so you can keep rockin' the headlines for hours, or even days, into the future.)
One other related note. We were watching Jeopardy last night - yeah, save the comments - and they had a little promo for the Newseum, which was fine in general. But the chirpy commentator noted that the architects used glass for the front of the building to "represent the transparency of our media" (not an exact quote, but pretty close).
Which made me think: Yeah, but glass also represents "windows," which I think are a common feature of, um, buildings.
All newsworthy, I suppose.
But I think U.S. papers are missing what is clearly - clearly, as my sister likes to say - the biggest story in the world today. And thank goodness The Times of Johannesburg was there to bring it to us. Are you ready?
A lion - a freaking lion - rode a horse.
I know you don't believe me, but here's photographic proof. That's right. Now let that sink in for a second.
This is just more evidence that American papers are controlled by an increasingly out-of-touch liberal elite, bent on keeping these important developments from a public that is hungry for details about vital current events.
Also it points out how incredibly cool (for news geeks, at least) this page of the Newseum's web site is. You can check out today's newspaper front pages from all across the U.S. and 62 countries. So if you're dying to know the top story in Sebring, Fla., or Neptune, N.J. - and why wouldn't you be? - you can have at it, in full living color. Go Newseum! (I added that link to the You Should Also Visit sites over there in the right column so you can keep rockin' the headlines for hours, or even days, into the future.)
One other related note. We were watching Jeopardy last night - yeah, save the comments - and they had a little promo for the Newseum, which was fine in general. But the chirpy commentator noted that the architects used glass for the front of the building to "represent the transparency of our media" (not an exact quote, but pretty close).
Which made me think: Yeah, but glass also represents "windows," which I think are a common feature of, um, buildings.
October 1, 2008
Yes, I am a municipal good-luck charm
Ahh, the baseball playoffs begin today. Maybe the NCAA basketball tournament is the one televised sports event I'd rather watch if I were stranded on a desert island (with a TV and a satellite dish), but otherwise, it's hard to top playoff baseball for pressure-packed TV viewing goodness.
Can it be a coincidence that my current and most recent hometowns (and I guess I can count Anaheim as part of Los Angeles, since the Angels do) each has two teams in the postseason? OK, it's probably a coincidence. Still, the only thing better than that is that New York has no teams in the mix. Life is good.
Life is also good because we'll get to see at least one playoff game live and in person - Cubs/Dodgers game 3. If the game fails to excite, I'll pursue my dream of eating one Dodger Dog per inning.*
Speaking of sports, huge shocker that the Olympic folks would find everything was OK with the 10-year-old Chinese gymnasts competing in the Summer Games, wasn't it?
CHAI TEA UPDATE: Yes, folks, I've made it to Day 3 without a Starbucks visit. Thanks for your support during this difficult time.
* I say this before almost every game I attend, and the quest usually dies after the first inning. Turns out they have a nice hummus and veggie plate at Dodger Stadium.
Can it be a coincidence that my current and most recent hometowns (and I guess I can count Anaheim as part of Los Angeles, since the Angels do) each has two teams in the postseason? OK, it's probably a coincidence. Still, the only thing better than that is that New York has no teams in the mix. Life is good.
Life is also good because we'll get to see at least one playoff game live and in person - Cubs/Dodgers game 3. If the game fails to excite, I'll pursue my dream of eating one Dodger Dog per inning.*
Speaking of sports, huge shocker that the Olympic folks would find everything was OK with the 10-year-old Chinese gymnasts competing in the Summer Games, wasn't it?
CHAI TEA UPDATE: Yes, folks, I've made it to Day 3 without a Starbucks visit. Thanks for your support during this difficult time.
* I say this before almost every game I attend, and the quest usually dies after the first inning. Turns out they have a nice hummus and veggie plate at Dodger Stadium.
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