April 23, 2009

Thanks for your purchase, you irresponsible dolt

Picture this scenario and tell me if you think it would be bad marketing:

A customer walks in to his local Ben & Jerry's scoop shop - perhaps to order a cup of SFTC's current fave, coconut seven layer bar ice cream with hot fudge... mmmmm... yeahhhhh... Oh, sorry, where was I? - and after he pays up, grabs a couple of those useless half-napkins and enjoys that first creamy bite, the kid behind the counter says something like this:

"Thank you for buying our ice cream. You realize, of course, that all of that fat and calories and fat and sugar and fat are going to kill you eventually, so we'd like to invite you to go get a gym membership. Have a good day."

Hard to believe, right?

Yet that's the feeling I got when I read this Earth Day promotional email from your good friends at United Airlines (click image to enlarge):



Maybe it's just me, but here's how I read this message: "Thanks for flying the friendly skies. You realize, of course, that by using our product, for which we charge you lots of money, you're basically going to destroy the earth's atmosphere. So we'd like to invite you to try counterbalancing your utter disregard for the environment by making a monetary contribution to a fund of our choice."

Why doesn't United just make its own donation? Me? I think I'll hang on to my $15. I'll need it so I can afford to check my suitcase the next time I fly. But thanks for asking.

11 comments:

Scandalous Housewife said...

Oh no they did-unt!
Wait! Ben and Jerry's has FAT calories?

Daddy Geek Boy said...

I was reading this, formulating my comment, but you already said mine in your last line.

If it were possible to hate the airlines any more.

Wonder Wife said...

I really wish I could see what the asterik led to. Is it that my charitable contribution isn't in fact going to a 501(3)c? That's my guess. Just to add insult to injury and all.

Your escalator operator said...

SH - Re B&J having fat calories: Not in this hypothetical example, it doesn't!

DGB - Great minds.

WW - Welcome! Thanks for the comment. The asterisk actually pointed to text explaining that you (well, not you personally) should check with your accountant to find out whether the contribution is tax deductible. But I like your guess much better.

bugs said...

This one was very very smart, witty & funny. I agree with you 100%. I am not making any donation of any kind for their emission issues - let them deal with the problems they're causing. Seriously. (I'm not saying just look out for yourself, but more like: we should all do our part & therefore, the airlines should do theirs.)
I like the correlation to the B & J - but again, aren't you LACTOSE INTOLERANT?!
xo

Your escalator operator said...

B - Yes, but you don't understand: That ice cream is really really good.

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