Canceled? Check.

Apparently, I'm the last person with Internet access to find this out, but nobody at TNT thought to email me personally to let me know. (I thought we had an arrangement.) Turns out they announced more than a week ago that despite not one but two positive mentions on SFTC, the bastards are canceling Trust Me. Not cool, TNT. Not cool.

In other TV-related news: If ever someone needed to consult with a p.r. person before going on camera, this guy is that someone. As part of an expose on dangerous air quality inside ice rinks - yet another reason I probably will not take up ice hockey this year - ESPN went to interview the owner of a Tampa facility about the sudden illness of several hockey players and a coach, apparently from the fumes from the rink's Zamboni.

Ice rink owner dude started out fine - handing the reporter hard copy of a prepared statement and insisting that would be his only comment. (You probably don't want to watch the whole video, so just click here and skip ahead to the 4:00 mark.) But he couldn't let it go. And he started getting very defensive. And basically the only way he could have come across worse is if he had thrown one of the sick kids under the Zamboni. Or said this.

P.U. D.I.Y. (Possibly unnecessary do-it-yourself)

Look at me with the acronyms.

I know the new economy is supposed to be all about putting the consumer in charge. (Either that or putting the consumer into bankruptcy - I forget which.)

So lots of companies have responded by introducing products that let the customer design their own product. Hence the rise of those Mongolian BBQ restaurants where you pick all of your own ingredients before the chef fries it all up for you. (By the way: Really? That's how they roll in Mongolia?) And that's why Nike and Puma have web sites that let you choose the colors and design of your tennis shoes. (Hey, Puma even calls their service "Mongolian Shoe BBQ." Seriously, I had no idea Mongolians were such do-it-yourselfers.)

Me? Unless I'm getting paid for my vegetable-and-spice selecting abilities, I'm happy to go to a restaurant and let the chef actually do all of the work - including determining how many water chestnuts and how much paprika to use. And the shoe companies employ professional shoe designers, I'm pretty sure. People who probably went to school for this stuff. Given the same palette of colors and materials, I'm pretty sure they'll design a better shoe than I could.

But I'm a little bit torn about the latest entry into the do-it-yourself pantheon. Because Kettle Chips, which makes the absolute best potato chip in the history of crisped vegetable snacks (see the first bullet point here), has introduced a make-your-own-potato-chip-flavor kit.

That is, they send you a few bags of naked chips and seven packets of seasoning - lemon butter, caramelized onion (the carmelized part seems weird because it's in powder form, but whatever), roasted tomato, cheddar, vinegar, sweet chili and sour cream & chive - that you can mix and match to create what is sure to be either a snack that is uniquely suited to your personal preferences or - and this seems like a distinct possibility - a truly frightening combination of powdered flavor granules.

So, I'm on the fence here. On the one hand, Kettle Chips has done a pretty good job coming up with a flavor I dig (namely spicy thai). On the other, I'm sort of curious what a lemon butter-cheddar-onion-vinegar potato chip would taste like.

What a character

As I'm sure you read in yesterday's riveting post, I've been tagged into a sick and twisted game of Name Your 10 Favorite Movie Characters. Proper blog etiquette dictates that I have no choice but to follow the lead of other distinguished bloggers who have come before me, and I'm nothing if not, uh, etiquetious? Etiquetteful? Wait, does etiquette have an adjective form? What is going on here?

OK, sorry, back to the movies.

Once upon a time, I kept a running list of my 10 favorite movies. Sad but true. Until yesterday, though, I had never really thought about favorite characters, so I wasn't sure I'd be able to come up with 10 strong entries. Turned out the problem was narrowing the list down. So, before you get to the good stuff, here are five favorites who just missed making the cut: Tony Stark (Iron Man), Roy Hobbs (The Natural), Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark) (Duh), Jason Bourne (take your pick) and Willy Wonka (the Johnny Depp version, in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

And, also before you get to the list, make a commitment right now - I know you can do it. Leave a comment below telling us all who your favorite movie characters are. Doesn't have to be 10, but enlighten us a little bit.
And now, in no particular order:

Jake Gittes – Chinatown
A 1940s L.A. private eye who was consistently pissed off, but also consistently interesting and entertaining. Gittes would make the list just for how he delivers the great line at the end of this clip alone - one of my favorite movie quotes ever. Also, Chinatown is possibly the best movie ever, so this gives me a chance to insist that if you haven't already seen it, rent it. Like, immediately.




Benjamin Braddock – The Graduate
For a character who wasn't conventionally cool, Ben did OK for himself (see: Robinson, Mrs.; and Robinson, Elaine). I'm trying to put my finger on what else I liked so much about him, and I guess one thing is how he is apparently liked by his elders but doesn't seem to care at all about what they think.

In one great scene, his parents tell him that his post-college plan sounds half-baked, to which he nonchalantly replies, "No, it's not. It's completely baked." Also, for example, this.




The Joker – Batman: The Dark Knight
Me, before leaving the theater (which was also wayyyy before I knew I'd have to write this whole entire list): “I would pay to watch that movie again right now with just his scenes edited together.”




Sam – Garden State
The ultimate quirky-cool-creative-fearless (good combo, right?) movie girlfriend. Extra points for introducing Largeman (and many of the rest of us) to music by The Shins.




Creasy – Man on Fire
Creasy appears simultaneously to be falling apart and totally in control. Watching him, you can't help but think that a guy who seems to have a death wish is maybe not the best choice for a bodyguard for your 10-year-old daughter in Mexico City. And yet, you're confident because this is a guy who just gets things done.




Don Logan – Sexy Beast
I know this list is for favorite characters - not actors - but the completely psychotic Don Logan makes the Top 10 specifically because it's hard to imagine this intense, terrifying ferocity coming out of the same actor who played Gandhi. That might sound pretentious, but we are talking about Sir Ben Kingsley. [Until I find something embed-able, you'll have to click the text link to watch a trailer. Sorry for the.... nevermind.]

Floyd – True Romance
Nobody on this list had as little screen time as Brad Pitt’s character in True Romance. I’m not normally super-amused by stoner humor, but Floyd just needs about 30 seconds to crack me up. I rented this movie last year pretty much just to watch his scenes.




Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Amadeus
I wonder if it's OK to include actual historical figures on this list. Yes, I have decided it is.
While I realize others probably found Tom Hulce's frequent giggling a little bit grating, Wolfie makes the 10 Best for making me feel like I was watching absolute genius in action - even if he was half-nuts. Bonus points for you if you recognize the dude playing the emporer in this clip and can name the other 1980s movie he was most associated with.




Vicomte de Valmont – Dangerous Liaisons
John Malkovich's character is evil, but so much fun. Well, until the whole swordfight thing.




Juno MacGuff – Juno
Wise-cracking, fast-talking, cute as all get out? Check, check and check. But she’d make the list just on the basis of “most romantic use of Tic Tacs."




And that makes 10. Your comments, please....

New York's archbishop, now in economy size

The New York Times web site today featured coverage of the installation of Archbishop Timothy Dolan.

I'm not Catholic, so I have to admit this photo really made me wonder: Are all archbishops like 10 times taller than the other clergymen, or is this guy just a freak of nature? See for yourself:

(Click to enlarge)

In other news, Daddy Geek Boy posted a list of his 10 Favorite Movie Characters (thankfully, he didn't specify "Of All Time," because that phrase is so often redundant), and then tagged me and a few other bloggers to compile our own 10 Best lists. So I've got my first-ever blog-related homework.

SFTC's crack research team has already begun culling video clips from our extensive library*, and you can expect to read the official SFTC list within the next day or two. Yeah, I can tell: You're holding your breath.

* YouTube.

Insanity, thy name is slightly altered obscure political quotes

Yesss! G-Rod is back in the news, baby.

Read all about Blagojevich's latest court appearance! Buy a handsome commemorative t-shirt designed by the creative team behind SFTC! (While supplies last.*) Brush the hell out of your hair!

Aside from feeling a reassuring sense that there's probably plenty of mockability left in the case of the former Illinois governor, I gleaned one other thing from today's coverage. I'm no legal expert, so I'm not really sure if it's even possible to plead insanity in response to the charges Blago is facing. But I think that's where he's headed.

Because if you need to make yourself look certifiably nutso, misquoting a little-known Teddy Roosevelt line seems like a good way to go.

The New York Times, describing Blago's post-game press conference outside the federal building in Chicago: “Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough,” Mr. Blagojevich said at one point, offering a slight permutation on something Theodore Roosevelt once said. “You got that?”

You bet, G-Rod. We've got it. Loud and clear.

* I don't think they're in danger of running out, since I've sold roughly zero of these so far. (I know, shocking, right?) (But, still, you should definitely place your order today.)

- - - -

Thanks for visiting! Don't be shy about leaving a comment (click the word "Comments" below) - we love comments - or joining the fast-growing ranks of SFTC followers. Just click the "Follow" button in the right sidebar. Google makes the rest easy.

Remembering Harry

Hall of Fame sports announcer Harry Kalas died yesterday. I was fortunate enough to meet him once, a few years ago, when I was working as the spotter for a national radio broadcast of a Chicago Bears game that Mr. Kalas was announcing.

I was probably a bit awestruck - he really was a legend - so I don't think I talked to him other than to introduce myself a few minutes before the game started. But it was such a treat to hear that iconic baritone in person. Hard to explain, but I guess it was the sports fan's equivalent of sitting on stage while Yo Yo Ma played a cello concerto. He was completely prepared, completely in control, and - unlike some other big-name announcers I met in the booth - completely unassuming. Other than that, I only have two memories of that experience.

One is that this man who made a living off of his voice regularly snuck cigarettes during timeouts. Of course, smoking wasn't allowed in the radio booth, but who was going to stop Mr. Kalas? (Apparently the cigarettes were an open secret - a few Philadelphia Phillies players lit up yesterday in what I thought was a fairly odd tribute.)

The other is that Campbell's Chunky soup ads played during a few of the commercial breaks. At the time, the ads were narrated by Mr. Kalas because of his close association with NFL football. And each time they came on, the radio producer would call out to those of us in the booth, "Ka-Ching!" - the sound of another Campbell's royalty check for the announcer - which got a chuckle out of Mr. Kalas.

Unfortunately, that was about the extent of my interaction with the master, but thinking about the time I sepnt in the radio booth at Soldier Field reminds me of one funny story.

A year or two earlier, I was in the booth for a Sunday night game and the temperature was probably about 10 F, with a wind chill below zero. And for some reason, the window to our booth had to stay open, which was... awesome. I think I was wearing about three pairs of pants and six shirts and sweaters under some kind of arctic parka, none of which seemed to make a difference.

I forget who the play-by-play announcer was that day, but former NFL running back John Riggins was handling color commentary. Every few minutes during the broadcast, the announcers would remind listeners how freaking cold it was, which must have made for great radio. Anyway, during a commercial break, someone from the radio crew mentioned to John that, despite the frigid conditions, the guy sitting behind us who was working the controls was not - I repeat, not - wearing socks.

As soon as he got back on the air, John shared this with the national radio audience: "They just told me that Mike, our sound guy, isn't wearing socks. That reminds me of something John Wayne once said in a movie. 'Life is hard. But it's especially hard when you're stupid.'"

Great moments in natural selection, part 1

No comment needed about this awesome story out of Germany.

Well, except that I'd probably rewrite the lead paragraph. So instead of this:
BERLIN, Germany (CNN) -- A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday.

... it would read more like this:
BERLIN, Germany (CNN) -- A complete idiot was unfortunately rescued after she was moronic enough to throw her stupid body into a polar bear habitat at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon, police said Saturday.