October 6, 2009

Lettuce reconsider

The lettuce in the Trader Joe's Asian chicken salad that I brought for lunch today was 24 or 36 hours past its expiration date. Which was a bummer.

But I can say with absolute certainty that I'd rather eat expired lettuce than read any more stories about Tyler Perry or Mackenzie Phillips being abused as children. (No links to their stories because, well, it's enough already.)

I'm sorry they suffered (although I feel like Perry is sort of getting his revenge with all of the Madea movies), but I don't get why celebrities think that a perk of being famous is the opportunity to spout off about crap that happened to them three decades ago. Maybe they're just doing it because they know I'll blog about it. Clever bastards.

- - -

In news that is - I'm fairly certain - completely unrelated, my incredibly gorgeous wife and I ordered a pizza from Domino's last night. And it was totally worth it. Not so much for the pizza, which was, frankly, a Domino's pizza, but because of Domino's online order tracker.

Have you seen this thing? We haven't ordered from Domino's in about two years, so I may be way behind the curve here. But it's so much fun, we're seriously considering* ordering another one tonight.

Once you place your order online - who talks on the phone anymore? - you're directed to a new screen with a gizmo that looks like this:



At each stage of the pizza-production-and-delivery-process, the appropriate section of the bar flashes red until it's complete, whereupon** that segment turns solid red. We watched in awe as Fabiola (that's what Pizza Tracker said her name was) marshaled our dinner order from prep to oven to quality testing.

I was somewhat concerned that "quality testing" our pizza meant someone was going to smush their hand in the middle of the pie and grab a handful of the tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni that was rightfully ours, but after a few bites of dinner, I got over it.

* Just kidding, Bugs.
** I'll have to double check, but this is probably the first use of "whereupon" on SFTC.

6 comments:

Escalator Groupie said...

Yay!! We are definitely ordering cheesy bread tonight.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

If they could only merge the two technologies, just imagine how much more fun shopping at TJ's would be.

(This also makes me want a pizza real bad.)

ZenMom said...

That is SO cool. :)

bugs said...

1) you're lactose intolerant - check SFTC to see how many times i've mentioned that to you, as you continue to exist in denial.
2) what a life of a newlywed you have (anything short of 3 years is still newlywed material to me) to not only order a pizza online from dominos, but then to sit in front of a computer screen to "watch" it being made. that's really really fabulously hilarious...or sad...
3) you crack me up...i think this "technology" has been around for a while.
4) DGB - what would you do? watch TJ's employees bag your items? i'm not sure how fun this is - what am i missing?

OFF TO SCOTTSDALE, KIDS! BE BACK SOON!

Your escalator operator said...

EG - Wonder how many orders of cheesy bread we'd have to get to reach the delivery minimum. Also, I wonder if they have a Cheesy Bread Tracker!!

Your escalator operator said...

DGB - It's weird that an online graphic could make us want pizza, and yet it does.

ZM - I agree.

B - It is fabulously hilarious. Lactose, schmactose. (That's all I can think of.)