February 5, 2010

If eating you is wrong, I don't want to be right

Perhaps I have a very very very very subtle death wish. But any time I see a list of "worst foods" or "unhealthiest meals" or "snacks that will kill you dead as soon as you take your first bite," I immediately want to eat most of the foods on that list.

When I saw the latest such countdown of the worst artery-clogging, blood-pressure-spiking cuisine, courtesy of Yahoo! and Men's Health, I also felt a sense of pride. Because I'm pretty sure that during my 13 years in Chicago, I ate about 794 Jimmy John's Italian Night Club subs (oh, the bread!), also known as Number 8 on the list.

So, let's see: 794 sandwiches* times 2,165 grams of sodium means I might have consumed something north of 1.7 million grams of sodium during that part of my life. That sense of pride has just ballooned. Kind of like a cardiac catheter.


* It's possible it was somewhat less like, say, 780 sandwiches.

5 comments:

DGB said...

I can't really talk. I have a "bacony goodness" tag on my blog, yet I'm on cholesterol medication.

bugs said...

good thing your father is a cardiologist.
or if all arteries clog & you lose circulation to feet, jon could just whack those off.
let me know....
mmmmmmmm....... hungry now?!

Unknown said...

Why am I all of a sudden feeling very bloated.

Your escalator operator said...

DGB - Bacony goodness. Cracks me up every time.

B - It's good to have relatives in high places.

WVW - Yeah, I got that same feeling. But also a taste for cold cuts.

OneZenMom said...

When you die, can I have your blog address?